Witless Protection
Starring: Larry The Cable Guy, Some chick who should be on Cinemax being banged by some dude with a barbed wire tattoo, Jenny McCarthy, ummm..some other people.
Review: Larry The Cable Guy plays a Sherriff who rescues some chick who is a part of some Enron type scandal deal and the kidnapper turns out to be an FBI agent. Larry is a huge red neck and he constantly....wait....I just got it. Witless protection is a play on words for Witness Protection. Oh snap! That's fucking hilarious! Jesus, who comes up with this stuff?! Give that man a raise! The movie itself? Uhh....it sucks balls. I haven't seen it but I'm guessing it sucks worse than Jumper, another movie I haven't seen. Anyhoo....
Star Ratings
If your a hick: ***** (out of 5) and Five thumbs up.
Snooty Liberal: 1/2 *
Complete Drunk: *** (out of 5)
Meth Addict: ** (out of 5)
If you work for NUVO: 1/2 1/2 * since it didn't involve gays or Bush bashing.
I'll have you know that every person who was missing at least half their teeth enjoyed that film. Honestly, today we had an adorable family from what I assumed to be very RURAL Indiana...maybe a mouth full of teeth between the four of them. Plaid flannel cut-up shirts, just like Larry. Dirty jeans, and perhaps the faint smell of dung. Pride of the East Side!
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