You Stay Classy Coach Dungy, Thanks For Everything

I have absolutely no time to blog anymore. It's pretty tough to find time to sit down and actually pour my shitty, grammar mistake filled thoughts onto this piece of crap blog. Either I sign up for another twelve hour shift which will make me nice money, or I blog. I either go feed my 5 month old whose doing the pointing sign to his mouth, or I blog. I either go bail my wife out of jail for yet another DUI, or I blog. But I had to find time to comment about our boy Tony Dungy. See, I've seen certain self hating Hoosiers and Brown fans drop trough and void their bowels all over Tony's career on other blogs, and I've got to stick up for my boy Tony.

First Round Playoff Exits

Let's get the bad points out of the way first. 6 first round exits in his career. Pretty crappy really and trust me, I was throwing my son's Cars chair across the room (without my son in it) the other week because of yet another first round turd laid, even though San Diego got some help with some shitty calls in OT. Still, they should have won that game. Except for that run in 2006 Tony is constantly out coached by some shitty coaches (and some good ones) in the post season (really, Norv? Norv freaking Turner? Twice? Manuel Noriega twice in your career?). It's frustrating it really is, and it's a legit beef.

He's a Defensive Guru Yet His Defense Is Like a Matador

True, his defense borders on shitty some years but this year was a pass considering one of his DTs decided to "retire" and another got in some trouble. And since Tony isn't a hypocrite he released the one that ran afoul of the law. Since Tony already has a pretty small defense it's hard to replace a couple of huge bodies in the middle and therefore hard to stop the run which was pretty evident since Mighty Mouse (Sproles) ran all over Indy. But you also have to realize that Tony has to deal with injuries and a revolving door of defenders year in and year out. I know all coaches in the NFL have to coach around these problems but the Colts had to deal with their best players constantly being injured (see Bob Sanders, Mathis, Freeny, etc.). I think Tony did a great job with what he had.

His Playoff Record Sucks

9-10 with one super bowl win. And no, that super bowl win was not lucky. I don't know how you luck yourself into a field goal game with the top defense in league (Baltimore) or luck yourself back from a 21-6 deficit with a team that has always spiritually depantsed you every playoff game or how you luck yourself into a monsoon even though your considered a "non weather" team against the top D in the NFC. Yes Chicago won in spite of Sexy Rexy but they were still a good team, much better than Seattle of 2005 anyway. It wasn't luck, they earned every bit of that super bowl ring. Tony has also made the playoffs all 7 seasons at Indy. Even the great Bill Belicheck has missed the playoffs 2 times in the last 7 season. Still, an under .500 playoff record really isn't all that good. But let's compare some other coaches post season record I have heard self hating Hoosiers and Colts fans throw around to replace Tony and some other coaches of Tony's ilk.

Jeff Fisher: 5-6 postseason, 0-1 in super bowls. And he was one music city miracle away from not even getting that super bowl appearance. Oh, and he just had a first round outsting even though his team was the #1 seed.

Recently fired Jon Gruden: 5-4 postseason, 1-0 in super bowls. Chucky should really thank Tony for building him a team for him to use and should thank his lucky stars that he faced his former team Oakland that didn't even bother to change their offensive playbook for the super bowl. Also, no playoff appearances since 2002.

Mike Holmgren: 13-11 postseason, 1-2 in super bowls.

Dick Vermeil: 6-5 postseason, 1-1 in super bowls

The Chin Bill Cowher: 12-9 postseason, 1-1 in super bowls.

Tom Coughlin: 8-7 postseason, 1-0 in super bowls (and what a super bowl that was).

Marty "Gleam" Schottenheimer: 5-13 postseason (!), no super bowl appearances.

Mike Shanahan: 8-5 postseason, 2-0 in super bowls. Was completely lost after Elway left.

Andy Reid: 11-7 postseason: 0-1 in super bowls.

Bill Belecheck: 14-3 postseason, 3-1 super bowls. Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater!

Well, except for Bill Belecheck (even though he's an arrogant prick records don't lie) really there is no one with a great postseason record. So when someone starts bitching that Tony sucks in the postseason just politely, or not so politely, remind them that everyone else does too.

The Good Points

Regular Season Record

139-69. That ain't bad. Yes, I know, it doesn't mean crap in the postseason. But still, 13 seasons and 139 games won which averages out to 11 wins a year. I know most coaches that would kill for that kind of success. This year was pretty damn good also, 9 straight wins (well 8 really, that little scrimmage at the end of the season doesn't really count) after a 3-4 record to start things out. And some of those wins were grind 'em out kind of wins against good teams like Pittsburgh, New England and (shudder) San Diego. He has also had at least 12 wins in the last 6 seasons (NFL record) and he has had only 1, count 'em, one sub .500 record in the regular season (I will ignore the 1 .500 season he had). You have to admire that kind of success.

He's Even Keeled With His Team and On Speaking Terms With The Big Guy Upstairs

He doesn't yell, he doesn't spit, and he doesn't do ridiculous things to try and motivate his team, he treats his players like adults, because contrary to popular belief they are adults. And yelling doesn't usually mean success (see list up above). Besides, Bill B. is one hell of a coach and he's a monotone motorboat. Also, most Christians I've come across are complete hypocrites, especially the celebrity ones, not Tony. He talks the talk and walks the walk. He's VERY into the community not only here but his home in Tampa and I have to salute a man who constantly visits sick kids and brothers in the joint to try and turn their lives around. I'm pretty proud to say Coach Dungy was the Colts coach because not only did he represent our team with class and style, he also represented our city and the unwashed brethren within, black, white, whatever. He's kind of like the coaching version of Barak, except for all the horrific cabinet selections and crappy VP selection (insert plagiarized speech joke here).

He Shaped Peyton

Someone brought up a good point about this. Before Dungy arrived Peyton threw a crap ton of interceptions. After his arrival, Peyton not only threw less interceptions (except for that freaky 6 int Charger game) he was also more efficient. Maybe it was Dungy's tutelage, maybe it was Peyton getting wiser and older, who knows? But it's pretty evident that Tony's arrival helped Peyton.

He Turned Around A CRAPPY Franchise

Did I say crappy? I meant horrific. Tampa was a joke, they were worse than the Rays of Tampa. Tony was instrumental in turning that gay pirate ship around. So they got a little lucky in the draft (Sapp, Brooks, etc). So Monte Kiffin helped him a little in the Tampa 2 scheme. The proof is in the results, by the fourth year they were in the NFC championship game and slugged it out with the Greatest Show on Turf, and if it wasn't for a crappy officiating call they would have gone to the super bowl.

So there you go. I will miss Tony but I fully embrace his replacement. Ol' whatshisname..uhhh...Cauldwell something. Anyways good luck Tony, and even though your beliefs really doesn't mesh with Obama's (that whole abortion thing) I'm sure you'll be in his cabinet at some point, and that will be the first good choice he makes.

Are The Colts.....Back?

I'm cautiously optimistic about the recent 3 game win streak of your Indianapolis Colts. After losing miserably to the Packers I pretty much wrote them off and started paying more attention to the Pacers, then I started paying more attention to what the Yankees were doing. The next games after the Packers; New England (always tough), at Pittsburgh (outdoors, tough D) and then Houston who pretty much had us dead to rights the last game. Pretty tough stretch which I figured they would lose at least 2 if not the whole lot. But then they drag me back in and rattle off 3 wins in a row. The offense is looking more like the juggernaut of old even though Marvin Harrison is a shell of his former self. The D is back to it's ol' bend don't break mentality and even toughed it out (hey, it was good for them) without Bob Sanders against Houston.

I actually got to attend the Pats game and even though my seats were so high Sputnik bounced off my head I saw the Colts practically play flawless football. No turnovers, no sacks given up, few penalties. I know they were lucky that Gaffney forgot how to catch a ball at one point that would have led to six, but still, they played great. They were also lucky that the genius Bill Belechek had a couple of brain farts that cost them the game. They did the same against the Steelers, almost flawless football. Houston? Well, not so much but a win is a win.

I would like to welcome back Addai and the Colts running game, good to have you back guy, this will make the passing game soo much easier.

The Colts have a tough road ahead and they practically have to win out to make a wildcard spot but damnit all I'm optimistic.

A Night At The Oil Can

I totally pulled a John-O, I took my camera to the opening of The Oil Can (Lucas Oil Stadium). Thanks to the Godfather giving me free duckets I got to peruse the stadium with other Colt fans, but I was the only one with a Gonzalez jersey. Anyways enjoy the photos.



The last time you'll see the floor this clean again. I like the cup holders and the seats actually could fit my fat ass just fine.



And god said "Let there be a meaningless preseason game!" The first time the dome is opened. You would have thought Jesus himself walked through the door, people were estatic, It was kind of loud.



Nice view with the dome open and Atari bad guy replica building in the background.



Insert Liberal or Conservative joke here.



Our boys in blue.





Definatley a step up from the RCA dome. A lot more family friendly and fan friendly. Wide open spaces and with the dome open you get a really nice, cool breeze. The beer is still really expensive and taste like making love in a canoe (fucking close to water) but it was a great experience. As for the game? We left midway through the second quarter. Steve, your new seat mates to your right, the chick doesn't shave her legs and the dude would not shut the fuck up.

God I Hate Bill Simmons, Thankfully So Does Firejaymariotti.com and Roughly 90% of The Country

If your from Boston, or decided to become a bandwagon fan of Boston sports this year, I understand why you would like this guy, I really do. Jason, Mike and to some extent John I understand if you adore this guy's articles. I actually used to like him too, before Boston started winning everything. After that he became a raging asshole. With him being on ESPN.com the amount of Boston and ex-Boston sports writers is up to roughly 1,000, which makes this years Pats perfect season run seem all the more annoying, I mean your sister-in-law having bigger boobs than your wife annoying. Alright, that was bad. What makes Bill annoying is the fact that when Boston teams win not only does he prop up his team he kicks the other team team he hates (Colts, Yankees) when they are down. And when I mean kick, I mean shoot, piss on and light the body on fire down. The problem is you can't fire back because he, for some unknown (actually known) reason, he has left the little comment box in his articles out. How can this be? Even Jemile Hill, the worst writer in sports has that box. Anyways I read Bill's latest Boston is great the Colts suck article. I don't know why, this was probably the first article I've read from him in it's entirety since last year when he was soooo bitter that the Colts won the Super Bowl that I wouldn't have been surprised if his wife (you've heard about his wife haven't you? Did you know she was pregnant? Didn't you? Huh?) would have found him swinging on a shower curtain rod. Anyhoo, after reading this article I wish I had the time to break it all down and rant. Thankfully our boys from firejaymariotti.com did. God bless 'em. The link is below. Enjoy!

Lets Not Build This Up Too Much

Is It Time For Dungy.....To Go?

I only made it through 2 paragraphs of Bob Kravitz's latest mail it in editorial in the Indy Star. And when I say mail it in I'm being pretty generous. Bob just doesn't make safe, predictable, mail-it-in articles, he stuffs the column in the pocket of a retarded hobo and shoves him in the general direction of Pennsylvania Avenue. In the article he suggested that the Colts are like the Atlanta Braves, great in the regular season, unspeakably lousy in the post season. Plus they have both just one ring under their belt. I guess that's a fair comparison (even though Manning has a long way to go before retirement) but that doesn't take the sting out of Sundays lost to the back up of the back ups of the Chargers. A team headed by a Manuel Noriega look-a-like with pits the size of cats, an a-hole egomaniac quarterback who for the entire regular season couldn't hit the blind side of a fucking barn and an all star running back/spoiled brat who treats his quarterback like a hooker who has crabs. Yeah, it really sucked, and really stung, badly. I tried to drown my sorrows to forget that game but my sorrows, they learned to swim. I just can't believe we lost to the Chargers.

Someone also brought up that maybe it's time for Dungy to go. In all honesty the man is genuine, nice and coaches his players like men. But it's obvious that football is not his main priority, and that usually rears its ugly head when game planning and preparing for the tough as balls playoffs. It is well known that he is a Christian who would like to one day do missionary work. That's great, but he has a team, right now, with the talent and potential to win year after year, Super Bowls, not just regular season games. It is the coach, or the players? Would you rather have an unkempt asshole/genius coach that got caught cheating that has won 3 (soon to be 4) Super Bowls with fire and determination to fuck everyone up the pooper to go perfect? Or a nice, genuine coach with a heart of gold and who somehow manages to get outplayed and out game planned by inferior competition. I know they won a Super Bowl last year, but they had the chance to screw the Pats. I should let it go and hope Dungy comes back for more years but this years loss left a bad taste in my mouth, like stripper, bad beer and weed taste in my mouth. And it's not easy to get out.