Great little ditty that if It wasn't so depressing it would be hilarious.
I was really never a fan of George Bush, I was really pissed with the first "stimulus" package but when Obama forced cracked his stimulus package through I was preparing for the worst (I still am, guns and gold, baby!). I remember a speech BOH made where he stated that if his package didn't pass unemployment would go to 10%. Well, were pretty much there and were in the hole trillions of dollars for it. Where's the media? Like BOH, still blaming Bush, an excuse that will run out eventually (I won't hold my breath on that one). The media really pisses me off. Just watch CNN or MSNBC for an hour and you can see they are clearly in the tank for BOH. Remember Katie Couric and her interview with Joe Biden? I was banging my head it was bleeding with all the softball questions and lack of historical knowledge between both of these morons.
Ugh. Granted Sarah Palin is a moron who was not hard to root out for Katie Couric but it was blatantly obvious Katie was in the bag for Obama. It's just sickening. I just want fair reporting, is that so much to ask? Well, at least Katie Couric's ratings are at an all time low.
Showing posts with label Political Rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Political Rant. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
This Is Change?
I guess one of the best lyrics in rock bears repeating.....
"Meet the new boss, same as the old boss."
The only difference is the new boss was supposed to be about change, a new direction in the way we do things. Better government, cleaner energy, cleaner air, a moral high ground taken by your government representatives. At first, and this was a while back, I was swept up by Obama mania and my feeling was that if Ron Paul or Guliani didn't make it as the Republican nominee I could get on board with Obama. He says the right things, does the right things, sorta, and I was willing to look over the whole Rev. Wright thing. Well, then..
1) He brings aboard Joe Biden. No John, I don't think "borrowing" from another individuals speech will impede ones ability to do a job, but if I "borrowed" like he did (not once, not twice, but thrice) I wouldn't have graduated college. But what really burned me was the fact that Obama already violated his promise of change. Really? Biden? Someone who has been in government longer than McCain? A complete arrogant fuckwit who was once the butt of a SNL skit back in the late 80's? He's part of the problem, not the solution.
2) The media gets involved, waaaaay too much. Obama was golden, he couldn't do anything wrong in the press, except for little you tube blerbs of him fumbling over his own words and proclaiming he's visited all "57 states", he was the magic....you know. I will fully admit McCain ran a shittacular campaign, disastrous at every debate, town hall meeting, VP nomination and commercial and Obama was there to capitalize, as was the media. MSNBC, CNN (which I will now dub The Obama Channel), Time, Newsweek, not one mainstream media news source ever criticized Obama. It was a tad disturbing.
Then he gets elected...
Oh well. I give Obama the best. I'm not going to be like one of those extreme left liberal douches that proclaims he or she is ashamed of America because of an administration. Nope, won't do it. I hope Obama turns this country around. I hope he does bring everyone together for the common good. I was ready for some change baby! Then....
He starts backing away from almost every promise he made. Remember when we all dog piled on John-O for Obama wanting to raise taxes for those who made 250,000 or more a year? Well, he backed off that pretty damn quick. I guess he and Oprah had a little heart to heart.
Blogovich. I know Obama wasn't involved but still, it's Chicago politics, all corruption all the time and this is where he came from.
He brings in ex Clinton people. Great. Same shit different decade.
He brings in those who voted for the war in Iraq (and retains one Bush person) instantly pissing off the anti-war groups. Of course, when aren't they pissed off? And where the hell were they when Clinton was pulling his crap?
He brings in an environmental "czar" Carol Browner who was once part of the Socialist party. Don't worry she resigned. She also wants to make large economies around the world (and the U.S.) to be smaller in order to fight a fictitious war against something that doesn't exist. Hmmm, fictitious war, sounds familiar doesn't it? Oh yeah, another Clinton tool.
Bill Richardson for Commerce Secretary. Withdrew due to a donor flap.
Geithner for Treasury Secretary. Tax problems, given free pass and is still in. But it's cool, his mistake was a common mistake. I guess it depends on who you talk to on that one.
Nancy Killifer for Chief Performance Officer. Withdrew, tax snafu. Starting to see a trend.
Then my favorite...
Tom Daschle. Health and Human Services. The man tapped to make sweeping socialist, errr reforms to health care. Yeah, 140,000 owed in back taxes. I was pretty happy about this, at least I know my job will be safe for a while. Well, he's out.
No wonder Dems are so generous with our tax money, they don't contribute! Then....
The stimulus package. You know who won't see any of that money? People who need it, us. It's European politics. A sort of socialism where only CEO's and companies get the money frome the government then refuse to give to the people who need it. I will call Bush the worst president of all time if any lib will admit that Pelosi is the worst Speaker of the House overseeing the worst Congress ever especially due to passing one horrific bailout and now wanting to pass another that will totally screw this country. Thank GOD they didn't bail out the big 3 automakers.
Listen, I hope Obama gets his shit together for the sake of this country. But to those who think he is God, Buddha, Allah and Elvis all wrapped up in one I have some startling news for you. He's. Just. Another. Politician. I saw Obama on CNN getting lobbed softball questions from Anderson Cooper right after this latest nominee screw up. It was if Anderson was consoling Obama, not asking the tough questions that should be asked. If this were Bush the media would have been in a frenzy, oh wait, this was Bush, and he was dubbed a complete imbecile (rightly in some cases) for every mistake he made. Obama has been fumbling around like Inspector Clouseau ever since he was sworn into office, and it's only been two weeks! Where's the outrage? Anyone?
"Meet the new boss, same as the old boss."
The only difference is the new boss was supposed to be about change, a new direction in the way we do things. Better government, cleaner energy, cleaner air, a moral high ground taken by your government representatives. At first, and this was a while back, I was swept up by Obama mania and my feeling was that if Ron Paul or Guliani didn't make it as the Republican nominee I could get on board with Obama. He says the right things, does the right things, sorta, and I was willing to look over the whole Rev. Wright thing. Well, then..
1) He brings aboard Joe Biden. No John, I don't think "borrowing" from another individuals speech will impede ones ability to do a job, but if I "borrowed" like he did (not once, not twice, but thrice) I wouldn't have graduated college. But what really burned me was the fact that Obama already violated his promise of change. Really? Biden? Someone who has been in government longer than McCain? A complete arrogant fuckwit who was once the butt of a SNL skit back in the late 80's? He's part of the problem, not the solution.
2) The media gets involved, waaaaay too much. Obama was golden, he couldn't do anything wrong in the press, except for little you tube blerbs of him fumbling over his own words and proclaiming he's visited all "57 states", he was the magic....you know. I will fully admit McCain ran a shittacular campaign, disastrous at every debate, town hall meeting, VP nomination and commercial and Obama was there to capitalize, as was the media. MSNBC, CNN (which I will now dub The Obama Channel), Time, Newsweek, not one mainstream media news source ever criticized Obama. It was a tad disturbing.
Then he gets elected...
Oh well. I give Obama the best. I'm not going to be like one of those extreme left liberal douches that proclaims he or she is ashamed of America because of an administration. Nope, won't do it. I hope Obama turns this country around. I hope he does bring everyone together for the common good. I was ready for some change baby! Then....
He starts backing away from almost every promise he made. Remember when we all dog piled on John-O for Obama wanting to raise taxes for those who made 250,000 or more a year? Well, he backed off that pretty damn quick. I guess he and Oprah had a little heart to heart.
Blogovich. I know Obama wasn't involved but still, it's Chicago politics, all corruption all the time and this is where he came from.
He brings in ex Clinton people. Great. Same shit different decade.
He brings in those who voted for the war in Iraq (and retains one Bush person) instantly pissing off the anti-war groups. Of course, when aren't they pissed off? And where the hell were they when Clinton was pulling his crap?
He brings in an environmental "czar" Carol Browner who was once part of the Socialist party. Don't worry she resigned. She also wants to make large economies around the world (and the U.S.) to be smaller in order to fight a fictitious war against something that doesn't exist. Hmmm, fictitious war, sounds familiar doesn't it? Oh yeah, another Clinton tool.
Bill Richardson for Commerce Secretary. Withdrew due to a donor flap.
Geithner for Treasury Secretary. Tax problems, given free pass and is still in. But it's cool, his mistake was a common mistake. I guess it depends on who you talk to on that one.
Nancy Killifer for Chief Performance Officer. Withdrew, tax snafu. Starting to see a trend.
Then my favorite...
Tom Daschle. Health and Human Services. The man tapped to make sweeping socialist, errr reforms to health care. Yeah, 140,000 owed in back taxes. I was pretty happy about this, at least I know my job will be safe for a while. Well, he's out.
No wonder Dems are so generous with our tax money, they don't contribute! Then....
The stimulus package. You know who won't see any of that money? People who need it, us. It's European politics. A sort of socialism where only CEO's and companies get the money frome the government then refuse to give to the people who need it. I will call Bush the worst president of all time if any lib will admit that Pelosi is the worst Speaker of the House overseeing the worst Congress ever especially due to passing one horrific bailout and now wanting to pass another that will totally screw this country. Thank GOD they didn't bail out the big 3 automakers.
Listen, I hope Obama gets his shit together for the sake of this country. But to those who think he is God, Buddha, Allah and Elvis all wrapped up in one I have some startling news for you. He's. Just. Another. Politician. I saw Obama on CNN getting lobbed softball questions from Anderson Cooper right after this latest nominee screw up. It was if Anderson was consoling Obama, not asking the tough questions that should be asked. If this were Bush the media would have been in a frenzy, oh wait, this was Bush, and he was dubbed a complete imbecile (rightly in some cases) for every mistake he made. Obama has been fumbling around like Inspector Clouseau ever since he was sworn into office, and it's only been two weeks! Where's the outrage? Anyone?
Thursday, June 19, 2008
They Posted This In The L.A. Times? WTF?
Bush Never Lied To Us About Iraq
In a nutshell it turns out (according to the article) that Bush simply got bad intellegence. Which goes completely counter to most slogan chanting, mud slinging, mad dog, frothing at the mouth, far left wingers, or Keith Olberman. I read this type of article around 2003 or 2004, but most people just attacked the writer's credibility instead of looking at the substance of the article, much like this one. I know bad intelligence from the CIA doesn't exactly make the medicine of the Iraq war go down any easier, but there you go.
I just wish there was more of an open honest debate about the Iraq war, kind of like global warming. The "I'm right, your wrong, go fuck yourself for not thinking like I do" thing really gets me pissed off. The media has been slinging so much shit around about the war it's really hard to know what's right and what isn't. On one hand I wish we never invaded but on the other I'm pretty damn happy Saddam (and his murdereres for sons) are out of power and maybe a chance for democracy to exist in the middle east could be obtained. When Keith Olberman rants and raves about Bush and his lying his way to war I think he's full of shit. When Rush Limbaugh defends Bush about the war I think he's full of shit. Who's right? Who fucking knows right now. Either way I still don't hate America for invading (or for electing Dubya) which many left wingers have subscribed to since the invasion. This is a great country. Flaws? Sure, every country has flaws, but the U.S. is still great. Just ask any Cuban who washes up on shore. Just ask any Canadian (I have, at work) who can't find jobs and are sick of paying shitloads of taxes. Ask any U.S. citizen who used to be citizens of an oppressive country (Iraq, Iran, North Korea, it goes on and on). I have my hand over my heart right now with the U.S. anthem playing in the background by the way. Who knows what historians will think of the war but one things for sure, I hope they don't contribute to the Democrat of Republican party.
There are only a couple of things I know for sure:
Saddam did harbor terrorists, yes, he did.
The U.N. by in large is corrupt but still important to the world, and us.
and countries are pissed at us about Iraq ONLY because it hit them in the pocket book.
Do I personally agree with it? No idea. I've read some convicing articles pro and con about the war.
Always happy to have a cordial debate on the subject. No name calling.
In a nutshell it turns out (according to the article) that Bush simply got bad intellegence. Which goes completely counter to most slogan chanting, mud slinging, mad dog, frothing at the mouth, far left wingers, or Keith Olberman. I read this type of article around 2003 or 2004, but most people just attacked the writer's credibility instead of looking at the substance of the article, much like this one. I know bad intelligence from the CIA doesn't exactly make the medicine of the Iraq war go down any easier, but there you go.
I just wish there was more of an open honest debate about the Iraq war, kind of like global warming. The "I'm right, your wrong, go fuck yourself for not thinking like I do" thing really gets me pissed off. The media has been slinging so much shit around about the war it's really hard to know what's right and what isn't. On one hand I wish we never invaded but on the other I'm pretty damn happy Saddam (and his murdereres for sons) are out of power and maybe a chance for democracy to exist in the middle east could be obtained. When Keith Olberman rants and raves about Bush and his lying his way to war I think he's full of shit. When Rush Limbaugh defends Bush about the war I think he's full of shit. Who's right? Who fucking knows right now. Either way I still don't hate America for invading (or for electing Dubya) which many left wingers have subscribed to since the invasion. This is a great country. Flaws? Sure, every country has flaws, but the U.S. is still great. Just ask any Cuban who washes up on shore. Just ask any Canadian (I have, at work) who can't find jobs and are sick of paying shitloads of taxes. Ask any U.S. citizen who used to be citizens of an oppressive country (Iraq, Iran, North Korea, it goes on and on). I have my hand over my heart right now with the U.S. anthem playing in the background by the way. Who knows what historians will think of the war but one things for sure, I hope they don't contribute to the Democrat of Republican party.
There are only a couple of things I know for sure:
Saddam did harbor terrorists, yes, he did.
The U.N. by in large is corrupt but still important to the world, and us.
and countries are pissed at us about Iraq ONLY because it hit them in the pocket book.
Do I personally agree with it? No idea. I've read some convicing articles pro and con about the war.
Always happy to have a cordial debate on the subject. No name calling.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Politics! Politics! Politics! Coin Flip 2008
Anyone ever watch Alien Vs. Predator the movie? It was a pretty shitty movie that I saw while tapped out drunk, so I don't remember the ending and I ended up waking up in a puddle of my own vomit with a pissed off wife looking down at me tapping her foot. But it did have a catchy phrase:
Whoever Wins We Lose!
That's how I feel about the upcoming election. The godfather got my creative juices flowing so I thought I would rant about the state of politics thus far. In my last post I was a little more optimistic about the candidates than I have been in years past. Well, let's just say my tone has changed a tad. Let's break down the candidates starting with the Republicans
The Republicans
Presidential Candidate: John McCain
Potential Slogan: I'm not Bush! (taken from the 2004 Kerry slogan).
What's Going For Them: The fact that the Republicans got their shit together and came to a unanimous decision early so they can actually concentrate on their positions and campaign strategy. Republicans basically chose the less crazy of the candidates.....uh oh.
What's Going Against Them: Media punching bag and the cause of everything bad that ever happened (including global warming) Bush has endorsed McCain. Oh, and the media is just a tad liberal so McCain really has no shot in the eyes of the media. Also, the American public is fickle, a Republican has been in office for the last 8 years, so no matter who runs for the Democrats they will probably get nominated just out of pure curiosity.
The skinny on McCain: He's a conservative but not anchored by the tenants of the modern American conservatism that according to wikipedia.org which last I checked was the most accurate source of everything everywhere. So this might be Bush part III, except McCain can actually speak in public without sounding like Corky from Life Goes On (I've been stuck on the joke).
Political Stance In A Nutshell: Stay the course in Iraq, let's get you guys jobs, help me comb my hair goddammit.
The Democrats
Potential Candidates: Borak don't call me Osama Obama, Hillary Clinton
Potential Slogan: We only hate America 10% less than most liberals.
What's Going For Them: They are not Republicans, a strategy that didn't work in 2004, but really not much is going for them now but lots of infighting. If I told you that an advisor said that Barak only got the nomination because he was black and another advisor called Hillary "a monster" you would instantly think a Republican or at the very least Rush Limbaugh were making these statements right? Wrong, all Democrats have made these statements. So much for liberal tolerance and understanding.
What's Going Against Them: Hillary is related to Bill Clinton, enough already, I'm now 33, which means since the age of 13 a Bush or a Clinton has been in office, time for some new blood. Plus the whole universal health care thing make me itch. Which means the job I have and love will be cut by Hillary by 2009, no thanks. This is what confuses me, for the past 8 years many hardcore liberals have complained so much about the American Government and it's spending and now some are supporting MORE government control and MORE spending for a program that will not work. So the same government in charge of Iraq, Katrina and the DMV will be in charge of my health care...gee, I would rather take my chances on insurance companies.
Barak and the Rev. Wright scandal. A lot of Democrat supporters don't find this a big deal, they even point out the fact that McCain cozied up to Jerry Falwell. That's all well and good but Falwell didn't marry the McCain's, baptize their children, go to his church for the last 20 years and take a title from his sermons and use it as the title of his book (Audacity of Hope). That's a huge difference for me. Plus Rev. Wright is highly influenced by Louis Farrakhan, the biggest racist and anti Semite around (as is Rev. Wright). Barak was cheek to cheek with Farrakhan during the million man march a move that Clinton (of the Bill variety) criticized. Remember when the whole Mel Gibson thing blew up? Remember how everyone (rightly) called him nuts for his raving anti Semitic view and wanted him banished? Why exactly is this different? Oh well, I got to give it to Obama, he survived this scandel pretty well. And that's what ticked my off, I was pretty high on Obama, even to the point of putting his little logo on my shitty blog, then this. Sorry Obama, I don't vote for people associated with hate, oh wait, I did vote for a Republican last time.
Christ, where the hell was I? Oh yeah..
The Skinny On Hillary: Liberal dressed up as a centrist. Actually she dresses up in horrible pant suits.
The Skinny On Barak: No pun intended. Still wants to bring everyone together, I hear ya brother but your associates don't sit with me too well, that and your experience, which is almost nil.
Political Stance In A Nutshell (Hillary): Pull out of Iraq, Bill pull out of me, are you unbelievably unhealthy? No problem smoke and drink and eat like shit, we'll take care of the pancreatitis and COPD for free...well, not exactly free, and you might have to wait in line just a liiiittttle bit longer than now. Do you like the Military? Neither do I, we'll just get rid of that right now.
Political Stance In A Nutshell (Barak): Peace brothas and sistas. I will even mandate that the letters e and r will be replaced by a. So the show ER will now be called "A".
Explanation of my post: I work out in a gym where CNN is played continuously, I've been watching it for the last month. Mind you, I watch no political networks at home. This is what CNN covers in a typical hour:
HILLARY, BARAK, HILLARY, BARAK, BARAK ON REV. WRIGHT, HILLARY, INFIGHTING DEMOCRATS, LARRY KING, ANDERSON COOPER, HILLARY STRATEGIST, BARAK STRATEGIST, mccain, HILLARY, BARAK, LARRY KING, ANDERSON COOPER...
Which explains why I have more opinions on the Democrats than Republicans. I actually have no clue what McCain believes in really.
My vote for the 2008: I have to do it again, I have to vote republican. I feel dirty, I feel awful, but I can't stand Hillary and all anti Semitic things aside for Barak he has absolutely no experience. Nader? No, just like all of us he's a raging hypocrite too.
Whoever Wins We Lose!
That's how I feel about the upcoming election. The godfather got my creative juices flowing so I thought I would rant about the state of politics thus far. In my last post I was a little more optimistic about the candidates than I have been in years past. Well, let's just say my tone has changed a tad. Let's break down the candidates starting with the Republicans
The Republicans
Presidential Candidate: John McCain
Potential Slogan: I'm not Bush! (taken from the 2004 Kerry slogan).
What's Going For Them: The fact that the Republicans got their shit together and came to a unanimous decision early so they can actually concentrate on their positions and campaign strategy. Republicans basically chose the less crazy of the candidates.....uh oh.
What's Going Against Them: Media punching bag and the cause of everything bad that ever happened (including global warming) Bush has endorsed McCain. Oh, and the media is just a tad liberal so McCain really has no shot in the eyes of the media. Also, the American public is fickle, a Republican has been in office for the last 8 years, so no matter who runs for the Democrats they will probably get nominated just out of pure curiosity.
The skinny on McCain: He's a conservative but not anchored by the tenants of the modern American conservatism that according to wikipedia.org which last I checked was the most accurate source of everything everywhere. So this might be Bush part III, except McCain can actually speak in public without sounding like Corky from Life Goes On (I've been stuck on the joke).
Political Stance In A Nutshell: Stay the course in Iraq, let's get you guys jobs, help me comb my hair goddammit.
The Democrats
Potential Candidates: Borak don't call me Osama Obama, Hillary Clinton
Potential Slogan: We only hate America 10% less than most liberals.
What's Going For Them: They are not Republicans, a strategy that didn't work in 2004, but really not much is going for them now but lots of infighting. If I told you that an advisor said that Barak only got the nomination because he was black and another advisor called Hillary "a monster" you would instantly think a Republican or at the very least Rush Limbaugh were making these statements right? Wrong, all Democrats have made these statements. So much for liberal tolerance and understanding.
What's Going Against Them: Hillary is related to Bill Clinton, enough already, I'm now 33, which means since the age of 13 a Bush or a Clinton has been in office, time for some new blood. Plus the whole universal health care thing make me itch. Which means the job I have and love will be cut by Hillary by 2009, no thanks. This is what confuses me, for the past 8 years many hardcore liberals have complained so much about the American Government and it's spending and now some are supporting MORE government control and MORE spending for a program that will not work. So the same government in charge of Iraq, Katrina and the DMV will be in charge of my health care...gee, I would rather take my chances on insurance companies.
Barak and the Rev. Wright scandal. A lot of Democrat supporters don't find this a big deal, they even point out the fact that McCain cozied up to Jerry Falwell. That's all well and good but Falwell didn't marry the McCain's, baptize their children, go to his church for the last 20 years and take a title from his sermons and use it as the title of his book (Audacity of Hope). That's a huge difference for me. Plus Rev. Wright is highly influenced by Louis Farrakhan, the biggest racist and anti Semite around (as is Rev. Wright). Barak was cheek to cheek with Farrakhan during the million man march a move that Clinton (of the Bill variety) criticized. Remember when the whole Mel Gibson thing blew up? Remember how everyone (rightly) called him nuts for his raving anti Semitic view and wanted him banished? Why exactly is this different? Oh well, I got to give it to Obama, he survived this scandel pretty well. And that's what ticked my off, I was pretty high on Obama, even to the point of putting his little logo on my shitty blog, then this. Sorry Obama, I don't vote for people associated with hate, oh wait, I did vote for a Republican last time.
Christ, where the hell was I? Oh yeah..
The Skinny On Hillary: Liberal dressed up as a centrist. Actually she dresses up in horrible pant suits.
The Skinny On Barak: No pun intended. Still wants to bring everyone together, I hear ya brother but your associates don't sit with me too well, that and your experience, which is almost nil.
Political Stance In A Nutshell (Hillary): Pull out of Iraq, Bill pull out of me, are you unbelievably unhealthy? No problem smoke and drink and eat like shit, we'll take care of the pancreatitis and COPD for free...well, not exactly free, and you might have to wait in line just a liiiittttle bit longer than now. Do you like the Military? Neither do I, we'll just get rid of that right now.
Political Stance In A Nutshell (Barak): Peace brothas and sistas. I will even mandate that the letters e and r will be replaced by a. So the show ER will now be called "A".
Explanation of my post: I work out in a gym where CNN is played continuously, I've been watching it for the last month. Mind you, I watch no political networks at home. This is what CNN covers in a typical hour:
HILLARY, BARAK, HILLARY, BARAK, BARAK ON REV. WRIGHT, HILLARY, INFIGHTING DEMOCRATS, LARRY KING, ANDERSON COOPER, HILLARY STRATEGIST, BARAK STRATEGIST, mccain, HILLARY, BARAK, LARRY KING, ANDERSON COOPER...
Which explains why I have more opinions on the Democrats than Republicans. I actually have no clue what McCain believes in really.
My vote for the 2008: I have to do it again, I have to vote republican. I feel dirty, I feel awful, but I can't stand Hillary and all anti Semitic things aside for Barak he has absolutely no experience. Nader? No, just like all of us he's a raging hypocrite too.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
The New Hampshire Primaries - Report From A Drunk Undecided Voter
Or, Another honky keeps a black man down.
The Democrats
Hillary decides to turn on the water works to sway voters with her emotions. However, Hillary hasn't cried in years due to the hardened shell she has developed being married to chubby chaser Bill, this proved tough for Hillary. In order to get her to cry her campaign staff kicked her in the nuts repeatedly, if finally worked and she pulled out the win.
Obama was reported in saying "goddamn fer schnizzel" when learning of the results. While exiting New Hampshire he turned, raised his fist in the air and said "this ain't over beeatch." For the sake of this country, we hope not. Oprah is already planning an emergency meeting where she will give Obama some strategies and a book to read from her club.
John Edwards was reportedly shooing away staffers while he kept combing his hair, looking in the mirror and giving little kisses to himself while saying "I'd fuck me." If he doesn't win in his own backyard (South Carolina, where the flags are plentiful and the doctors are scared) he might as well go back home and count his money. When asked if his wife's cancer was a distraction during this campaign he was reported saying, "My wife has cancer?!" That was a cheap shot, I'm sorry.
The Republicans
John McCain - Came in first for the Republicans, or according to the media, a distant third overall. Was shocked to hear about the late surge and was reported in saying, "What the fuck am I doing in New Hampshire?! Who the fuck are you?!" We won?! What did we win?" Of course all this will be for naught if he can't perform in Michigan, much like the Detroit Lions.
Huckabee - Came in third and was reported in saying "Jesus doesn't like New Hampshire anyways."
Romney - Came in second, good for him, who gives a shit?
Guiliani - Came in fourth in his own backyard. Apparently reminding people of 9/11 over and over again doesn't help. At some point the American voters want some sort of plan, like any plan.
If you scroll down all the way to the bottom of this sorry excuse of a blog you will see who I will be supporting for President and V.P.
The Democrats
Hillary decides to turn on the water works to sway voters with her emotions. However, Hillary hasn't cried in years due to the hardened shell she has developed being married to chubby chaser Bill, this proved tough for Hillary. In order to get her to cry her campaign staff kicked her in the nuts repeatedly, if finally worked and she pulled out the win.
Obama was reported in saying "goddamn fer schnizzel" when learning of the results. While exiting New Hampshire he turned, raised his fist in the air and said "this ain't over beeatch." For the sake of this country, we hope not. Oprah is already planning an emergency meeting where she will give Obama some strategies and a book to read from her club.
John Edwards was reportedly shooing away staffers while he kept combing his hair, looking in the mirror and giving little kisses to himself while saying "I'd fuck me." If he doesn't win in his own backyard (South Carolina, where the flags are plentiful and the doctors are scared) he might as well go back home and count his money. When asked if his wife's cancer was a distraction during this campaign he was reported saying, "My wife has cancer?!" That was a cheap shot, I'm sorry.
The Republicans
John McCain - Came in first for the Republicans, or according to the media, a distant third overall. Was shocked to hear about the late surge and was reported in saying, "What the fuck am I doing in New Hampshire?! Who the fuck are you?!" We won?! What did we win?" Of course all this will be for naught if he can't perform in Michigan, much like the Detroit Lions.
Huckabee - Came in third and was reported in saying "Jesus doesn't like New Hampshire anyways."
Romney - Came in second, good for him, who gives a shit?
Guiliani - Came in fourth in his own backyard. Apparently reminding people of 9/11 over and over again doesn't help. At some point the American voters want some sort of plan, like any plan.
If you scroll down all the way to the bottom of this sorry excuse of a blog you will see who I will be supporting for President and V.P.
Wednesday, January 2, 2008
A Drunken Guide to the 2008 Presidential Elections
If your like me politics makes me itch, every time I vote I feel like I'm in some way contributing to putting some rich, deviant, soul-less jackass into the most powerful position in the free world. Let it be known that I've voted for both Clinton and Bush, so yes I have. In 2004 I was in a quandary, I really didn't feel like voting for Bush, but I REALLY didn't like John Kerry, the Democrats version of Bush. So I basically flipped a coin and voted Bush. I felt dirty. Well, 2008 won't be much better.
The State Of Politics In The U.S.
This country couldn't be more divided than it is right now. The Democrats and Republicans (and especially the voters) are so polarized that whenever the conversation of the war on terror, the war in Iraq, gay marriage, or global warming comes up the conversation usually ends in gun play. It's kind of like a weird version of Star Wars where each side thinks they are Luke and they are the chosen one that needs to slay the Emperor. This polarization came about because of two people, Gore and Bush. Ever since the controversial 2000 elections (and dumb ass blogs like mine were invented) democrat and republican voters turned from happy go lucky to saying things like "I fucking hate insert Republican or Democrat here and I would move away to insert country here if he/she were ever elected" while middle of the road voters like me are left in the middle thinking, what the fuck has happened to this country? It's that bad folks.
But fret not, I will give my drunken and very simplistic descriptions of each candidate in each party, and maybe a third party to help you decide the fate of this fine country.
The Republicans
Overly simplistic view of the voters: Thinks that Muslim werewolves will come into every ones home and rip off every ones nipples if a Democrat is in office. Has a huge truck with a American flag stenciled on the window, gun rack optional. Environment, we don't need no stinking environment. Thinks that all Americans have the right to worship Jesus Christ in their own way. Thinks all illegal immigrants will eventually come in and take all jobs away from decent hard working Americans descended from other illegal immigrants. Regularly waves the American flag and shouts "U.S.A! U.S.A!" at any and all events, even when they take a dump. Think that all babies should be saved because all life is precious but wouldn't bat an eye and flip the switch to any and all know criminals in the world. Thinks Fox News is the ONLY news channel (which, ironically according to a MSNBC.com article listed to the right is fair and balanced. Just read the article).
The Candidates
The Candidate: Fred Thompson
Description: Part basset hound part "that guy" from Law and Order
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Government, hands off! Now all eyes on my wife!
Chances of Winning: 4 to 1
How He'll Blow It: Dying of old age, have you seen him lately?
How He Could Win It: Have you seen his wife? That would be a damn fine looking broad to stare at for the next 4 years. Plus his experience, he seemed to know his job really well in Law and Order.
The Candidate: Rudy Guiliani
Description: 9/11
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: 9/11
Chances of Winning: 9 to 11% chance
How He'll Blow it: 9/11
How He Could Win It: 9/11
The Candidate: Mike Huckabee
Description: Former Governor of Ar Kansas, kind of looks like that dude from Mad TV. You know? Stewie?
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: God and Jesus and maybe some government.
Chances of Winning: 100 Billion to 1.
How He'll Blow It: Will condemn all gays and lesbians to hell for their dirty sinful acts then get caught at a gay porno theater watching Shaving Ryan's Privates.
How He Could Win It: God somehow wipes out all liberals and non baptists in this country.
The Candidate: John McCain
Description: Vietnam war vet, former POW, hopefully didn't have to hide a gold watch up his tuckus like Walken in Pulp Fiction
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Good jobs at good wages. Hopes that one day he can comb his own hair (ouch! Cheap shot)
Chances of Winning: Slim to none and none just left town, or was it slim? Who knows actually.
How He'll Blow It: Senility will probably kick in at some point.
How He Could Win It: By getting more votes than the other guy......or girl.
The Candidate: Ron Paul
Description: U.S. Rep from Texas that has a stunning likeness to the dad from Alf.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: The constitution, no tax increases, a prostitute in every home (I made up the last one).
Chances of Winning: 20 to 1.
How He'll Blow It: Has the distinction of being one of the few Republicans to oppose the Iraq War. Republicans don't like that.
How He Could Win: By knocking out all other presidential hopefuls out of the ring in a battle royale Ala wrestlemania.
The Candidate: Mitt Romney
Description: Mormon....with great hair.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Things, and more things.
Chances of Winning: Pretty good, actually, all of his wives thinks so anyways. Oh wait, he's against polygamy. At least he says so.
How He'll Blow It: By spending too much time looking in the mirror to know there is an election going on.
How He Could Win It: By getting a lot of money.
The Democrats
Overly simplistic view of the voters: Thinks everyone has the right to speak their mind but would have no problems chaining you to the back of their Toyota Prius and dragging you through red square, I mean time square if they don't agree with you. Thinks the world will end by global warming caused by SUVs driven by Republicans but have no problems with Democrats taking private jets everywhere. Has no idea what a Islamic fascist is and will stuff his/her fingers in their ears when you explain. Thinks anyone who displays the American flag is a hick that can't read. Usually chants clever slogans like: "No blood for oil" "Bush lied, people died" "Don't taze me bro!" and "Fuck you!" Thinks Bush is a dictator but for some reason loves guys like Chavez and Castro who are dictators and have killed and silenced known dissenters.
The Candidates
The Candidate: Hillary Clinton
Description: Robotic kankle machine.
What He, I mean, She Stands For In A Nutshell: Whatever the polls say.
Chances Of Her Winning: 2 to 1
How She Could Blow It: By not having a penis between her legs. Plus, people will be reminded of Bill's last 4 years in office.
How She Could Win It: By not having a penis between her legs.
The Candidate: Borack Obama
Description: Billy Dee Williams meets uptight white guy.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Everything and anything that will get him elected.
Chances of Him Winning: Even money.
How He Could Blow It: Well, he's black, and his dad was a Muslim. In the end I'm not sure how America will accept that.
How He Could Win It: One word....Oprah.
The Candidate: Dennis Kucinich
Description: Hippie vegan
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: All basic and deserving rights and access to all medical, dental, mental health care and all the free drugs you can get your mitts on. With no extra cost. By the way, taxes will go up 500% after 2008.
Chances of Him Winning: Snowballs chance in hell.
How He Could Blow It: When people realize that with him in office America will potentially be without a military, drugged up, eating vegan, overrun with immigrants and cows and could have our first canine as vice president and ruled by Muslim werewolves, they'll probably change their minds.
How He Could Win It: By choosing that little dog from Frasier as his running mate. How cool would that be?
The Candidate: John Edwards
Description: Multi Multi Millionaire who likes poor people, but would never let them get anywhere near him.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Great hair and a great smile.
Chances of Him Winning: Well, in 2004 he and Kerry couldn't take down dummy and the heart attack kid, which is basically like losing a basketball game to a blind, unconscious amputee. So not good.
How He Could Blow It: See above statement.
How He Could Win It: If he somehow finds the technology to wipe out our memories of 2004.
The Candidate: Bill Richardson
Description: A cleaned up and sober Graham Green.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Airing Dances With Wolves 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Chances of Him Winning: I actually never heard of him until 3 months ago.
How He Could Blow It: Starring in Dances With Wolves 2.
How He Could Win It: Starring in Thunderheart 2.
The Independents (Green Party, Libertarians, Socialist Party)
Overly simplistic view of the voters: Just unbelievably pissed at democrats and republicans, I feel for them, I just wish there were better candidates.
The Candidate: Cynthia McKinney
Description: Pissed off black chick from Georgia.
What She Stands For In A Nutshell: Running down any honkie that tries to get in her way.
Chances of Her Winning: About as much chance as I have bedding Dolly Parton in the next 24 hours.
How She Could Blow it: She has, over and over again.
How She Could Win It: By running down every single honkie in the U.S.
The Candidate: Kat Swift
Description: Pissed off white chick from Texas.
What She Stands For: I'm afraid to find out.
Chances of Her Winning: About as much chance as I have bedding Dolly Parton in the next couple of hours.
How She Could Blow It: I just realized that that last sentence is a reference to oral sex. Tee hee.
How She Could Win It: By running over every single male and people that are skeptics of global warming in the U.S.
The Alternatives To The Alternatives
Surprise Candidate for the Republicans: Curt Schilling
Potential Running Mate: Chuck Norris
How That Could Pan Out: It won't
Could It Work?: The world would get really sick of Schilling's rants and opinions within 2 seconds. Plus his stance of the Red Sox/Patriots/Bruins/Celtics winning it all every year legislation would get old really fast.
Surprise Democrat Candidate: Jon Stewart
Potential Running Mate: Stephen Colbert
How That Could Pan Out: It might.
Could It Work Out?: Well, the first time Stewart starts ranting and screaming at someone about ruining something could very well end it for this duo, and blaming the writers for his foreign policy probably won't cut it. Plus Colbert's smug attitude and fucked up ear could be off putting.
There you go, hope this will help you out in the upcoming elections. Remember....vote.....no matter who for, or how dirty you feel afterwards.
The State Of Politics In The U.S.
This country couldn't be more divided than it is right now. The Democrats and Republicans (and especially the voters) are so polarized that whenever the conversation of the war on terror, the war in Iraq, gay marriage, or global warming comes up the conversation usually ends in gun play. It's kind of like a weird version of Star Wars where each side thinks they are Luke and they are the chosen one that needs to slay the Emperor. This polarization came about because of two people, Gore and Bush. Ever since the controversial 2000 elections (and dumb ass blogs like mine were invented) democrat and republican voters turned from happy go lucky to saying things like "I fucking hate insert Republican or Democrat here and I would move away to insert country here if he/she were ever elected" while middle of the road voters like me are left in the middle thinking, what the fuck has happened to this country? It's that bad folks.
But fret not, I will give my drunken and very simplistic descriptions of each candidate in each party, and maybe a third party to help you decide the fate of this fine country.
The Republicans
Overly simplistic view of the voters: Thinks that Muslim werewolves will come into every ones home and rip off every ones nipples if a Democrat is in office. Has a huge truck with a American flag stenciled on the window, gun rack optional. Environment, we don't need no stinking environment. Thinks that all Americans have the right to worship Jesus Christ in their own way. Thinks all illegal immigrants will eventually come in and take all jobs away from decent hard working Americans descended from other illegal immigrants. Regularly waves the American flag and shouts "U.S.A! U.S.A!" at any and all events, even when they take a dump. Think that all babies should be saved because all life is precious but wouldn't bat an eye and flip the switch to any and all know criminals in the world. Thinks Fox News is the ONLY news channel (which, ironically according to a MSNBC.com article listed to the right is fair and balanced. Just read the article).
The Candidates
The Candidate: Fred Thompson
Description: Part basset hound part "that guy" from Law and Order
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Government, hands off! Now all eyes on my wife!
Chances of Winning: 4 to 1
How He'll Blow It: Dying of old age, have you seen him lately?
How He Could Win It: Have you seen his wife? That would be a damn fine looking broad to stare at for the next 4 years. Plus his experience, he seemed to know his job really well in Law and Order.
The Candidate: Rudy Guiliani
Description: 9/11
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: 9/11
Chances of Winning: 9 to 11% chance
How He'll Blow it: 9/11
How He Could Win It: 9/11
The Candidate: Mike Huckabee
Description: Former Governor of Ar Kansas, kind of looks like that dude from Mad TV. You know? Stewie?
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: God and Jesus and maybe some government.
Chances of Winning: 100 Billion to 1.
How He'll Blow It: Will condemn all gays and lesbians to hell for their dirty sinful acts then get caught at a gay porno theater watching Shaving Ryan's Privates.
How He Could Win It: God somehow wipes out all liberals and non baptists in this country.
The Candidate: John McCain
Description: Vietnam war vet, former POW, hopefully didn't have to hide a gold watch up his tuckus like Walken in Pulp Fiction
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Good jobs at good wages. Hopes that one day he can comb his own hair (ouch! Cheap shot)
Chances of Winning: Slim to none and none just left town, or was it slim? Who knows actually.
How He'll Blow It: Senility will probably kick in at some point.
How He Could Win It: By getting more votes than the other guy......or girl.
The Candidate: Ron Paul
Description: U.S. Rep from Texas that has a stunning likeness to the dad from Alf.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: The constitution, no tax increases, a prostitute in every home (I made up the last one).
Chances of Winning: 20 to 1.
How He'll Blow It: Has the distinction of being one of the few Republicans to oppose the Iraq War. Republicans don't like that.
How He Could Win: By knocking out all other presidential hopefuls out of the ring in a battle royale Ala wrestlemania.
The Candidate: Mitt Romney
Description: Mormon....with great hair.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Things, and more things.
Chances of Winning: Pretty good, actually, all of his wives thinks so anyways. Oh wait, he's against polygamy. At least he says so.
How He'll Blow It: By spending too much time looking in the mirror to know there is an election going on.
How He Could Win It: By getting a lot of money.
The Democrats
Overly simplistic view of the voters: Thinks everyone has the right to speak their mind but would have no problems chaining you to the back of their Toyota Prius and dragging you through red square, I mean time square if they don't agree with you. Thinks the world will end by global warming caused by SUVs driven by Republicans but have no problems with Democrats taking private jets everywhere. Has no idea what a Islamic fascist is and will stuff his/her fingers in their ears when you explain. Thinks anyone who displays the American flag is a hick that can't read. Usually chants clever slogans like: "No blood for oil" "Bush lied, people died" "Don't taze me bro!" and "Fuck you!" Thinks Bush is a dictator but for some reason loves guys like Chavez and Castro who are dictators and have killed and silenced known dissenters.
The Candidates
The Candidate: Hillary Clinton
Description: Robotic kankle machine.
What He, I mean, She Stands For In A Nutshell: Whatever the polls say.
Chances Of Her Winning: 2 to 1
How She Could Blow It: By not having a penis between her legs. Plus, people will be reminded of Bill's last 4 years in office.
How She Could Win It: By not having a penis between her legs.
The Candidate: Borack Obama
Description: Billy Dee Williams meets uptight white guy.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Everything and anything that will get him elected.
Chances of Him Winning: Even money.
How He Could Blow It: Well, he's black, and his dad was a Muslim. In the end I'm not sure how America will accept that.
How He Could Win It: One word....Oprah.
The Candidate: Dennis Kucinich
Description: Hippie vegan
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: All basic and deserving rights and access to all medical, dental, mental health care and all the free drugs you can get your mitts on. With no extra cost. By the way, taxes will go up 500% after 2008.
Chances of Him Winning: Snowballs chance in hell.
How He Could Blow It: When people realize that with him in office America will potentially be without a military, drugged up, eating vegan, overrun with immigrants and cows and could have our first canine as vice president and ruled by Muslim werewolves, they'll probably change their minds.
How He Could Win It: By choosing that little dog from Frasier as his running mate. How cool would that be?
The Candidate: John Edwards
Description: Multi Multi Millionaire who likes poor people, but would never let them get anywhere near him.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Great hair and a great smile.
Chances of Him Winning: Well, in 2004 he and Kerry couldn't take down dummy and the heart attack kid, which is basically like losing a basketball game to a blind, unconscious amputee. So not good.
How He Could Blow It: See above statement.
How He Could Win It: If he somehow finds the technology to wipe out our memories of 2004.
The Candidate: Bill Richardson
Description: A cleaned up and sober Graham Green.
What He Stands For In A Nutshell: Airing Dances With Wolves 24 hours a day 7 days a week.
Chances of Him Winning: I actually never heard of him until 3 months ago.
How He Could Blow It: Starring in Dances With Wolves 2.
How He Could Win It: Starring in Thunderheart 2.
The Independents (Green Party, Libertarians, Socialist Party)
Overly simplistic view of the voters: Just unbelievably pissed at democrats and republicans, I feel for them, I just wish there were better candidates.
The Candidate: Cynthia McKinney
Description: Pissed off black chick from Georgia.
What She Stands For In A Nutshell: Running down any honkie that tries to get in her way.
Chances of Her Winning: About as much chance as I have bedding Dolly Parton in the next 24 hours.
How She Could Blow it: She has, over and over again.
How She Could Win It: By running down every single honkie in the U.S.
The Candidate: Kat Swift
Description: Pissed off white chick from Texas.
What She Stands For: I'm afraid to find out.
Chances of Her Winning: About as much chance as I have bedding Dolly Parton in the next couple of hours.
How She Could Blow It: I just realized that that last sentence is a reference to oral sex. Tee hee.
How She Could Win It: By running over every single male and people that are skeptics of global warming in the U.S.
The Alternatives To The Alternatives
Surprise Candidate for the Republicans: Curt Schilling
Potential Running Mate: Chuck Norris
How That Could Pan Out: It won't
Could It Work?: The world would get really sick of Schilling's rants and opinions within 2 seconds. Plus his stance of the Red Sox/Patriots/Bruins/Celtics winning it all every year legislation would get old really fast.
Surprise Democrat Candidate: Jon Stewart
Potential Running Mate: Stephen Colbert
How That Could Pan Out: It might.
Could It Work Out?: Well, the first time Stewart starts ranting and screaming at someone about ruining something could very well end it for this duo, and blaming the writers for his foreign policy probably won't cut it. Plus Colbert's smug attitude and fucked up ear could be off putting.
There you go, hope this will help you out in the upcoming elections. Remember....vote.....no matter who for, or how dirty you feel afterwards.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Manbearpig
Maybe John-O shouldn't read this. This comes from Gregg Easterbrook AKA The Tuesday Morning Quarterback one of my favourite sports writers out there. He contributes to ESPN.com and is part of a (some say liberal) think tank called The Brookings Institute. He wrote a compelling book called The Paradox Of Progress: How things get better but people feel worse. During his usual sports takes he has this to say about our boy Al Gore and his fight with manbearpig (global warming).
"Those Hollywood Searchlights Around Gore's Home Sure Eat Power: Gore wasn't the first quack to win the Nobel Peace Prize, and history suggests he will not be the last. Gore spent eight years in the White House, and in that time took no meaningful action regarding greenhouse gases. The Clinton-Gore administration did not raise fuel economy standards for cars and trucks or propose domestic carbon trading. Though Clinton and Gore made a great show of praising the Kyoto Protocol, they refused even to submit the treaty to the Senate for consideration, let alone push for ratification. During his 2000 run for the presidency, Gore said little about climate change or binding global-warming reforms. In the White House and during his presidential campaign, Gore advocated no consequential action regarding greenhouse gases; then, there was a political cost attached. Once Gore was out of power and global-warming proposals no longer carried a political cost -- indeed, could be used for self-promotion -- suddenly Gore discovered his intense desire to demand that other leaders do what he had not! It is a triumph of postmodernism that Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize for no specific accomplishment other than making a movie of self-praise. Gore caused no peace nor led any reconciliation of belligerent parties nor performed any service to the dispossessed, the achievements the Peace Prize was created to honor. All Gore did was promote himself from Hollywood, and for this, he gets a Nobel. Very postmodern.
An annoying complication of Gore's Nobel is that few realize the award was given jointly to him and to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, an organization well worthy of distinction. The IPCC is a group of scientists who have spent two decades studying climate change in obscurity, and in many cases without pay. The IPCC's efforts have been selfless, motivated only by concern for society. Had the Nobel Peace Prize gone solely to the IPCC, it would have been a great day.
An astonishing measure of how out-of-touch the Norwegian Nobel Committee seems is that it gave a prize to Gore for hectoring others about energy consumption in the same year it was revealed that Gore, at his home, uses 20 times the national power average. Gore's extraordinary power waste equates to about 377,000 pounds of greenhouse gases annually, or about 20 Hummer Years worth of global warming pollution. (A Hummer Year, TMQ's metric of environmental hypocrisy, is the amount of carbon dioxide emitted in a typical year of driving a Hummer.) When his utility bill made the news -- though apparently not in Oslo -- Gore responded by saying he buys carbon offsets. That takes you back to the offset problem: All offsets do is prevent greenhouse gas accumulation from increasing. If you really believe there will be a global calamity unless greenhouse gas emissions are reduced 80 percent, as Gore told the Live Earth crowd, you would buy offsets and cut your own energy use. Instead, Gore flies around in fossil-fuel-intensive jet aircraft telling others: Do as I say, not as I do!
After news of Gore's personal energy consumption broke, Gore spokeswoman Kalee Kreider told The Associated Press the utility bill was justified because "Al and Tipper both work out of their home." This raises the question -- what kind of work are they doing? Perhaps reanimating Frankenstein; in Frankenstein movies, there is always a lot of electricity crackling wastefully about. Here are other possible reasons the Gores' home requires so much energy:
• Gore is building a time machine to return to Palm Beach, Fla., in October 2000.
• The former vice president is doing everything he personally can to cause global warming, so he can claim his predictions came true.
• Gore is growing marijuana in his basement. [Note from the corporate legal department: This is strictly a joke, ESPN is not accusing Al Gore of growing marijuana. We stand by our allegation that he is a sinister kingpin of international rare-bird smuggling.]
• Members of Gore's species require high power levels to maintain human form.
• Al and Tipper don't just leave the lights on when they make out, they leave the lights on all over the house."
And what about Congress? Gregg.....
"Congress Talks Green -- Action Is Another Matter: As debate heats up in the Senate regarding "carbon trading" legislation to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, I commend to readers this new paper by TMQ pal Robert Stavins of Harvard's Kennedy School of Government. Stavins is the top environmental economist in the United States, and his paper, though not exactly beach reading, tells you everything you need to know about carbon trading. Plus, Rob must be a great guy because he has nine titles.
Raising mileage standards for vehicles and enacting a carbon trading system for electric power generation are two highly desirable actions Congress can take right now, without doing economic harm, to cut greenhouse emissions, improve national security by reducing U.S. reliance on Persian Gulf oil and push Detroit automakers to become more competitive so they stay in business. But instead of taking badly needed action, the House of Representatives last week spent $89,000 of taxpayers' money to purchase 30,000 tons' worth of "carbon offsets" for its antiquated coal-burning powerhouse. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi declared the U.S. Capitol will be green by 2008, but this sounds to me like political yammer.
First, according to estimates by resource economists, carbon offsets need to cost $20 to $25 per ton in order to generate a significant profit incentive for innovators, and thus inspire technical breakthroughs that will stave off artificial global warming. If the Capitol paid only $3 per ton, it wasn't buying much. More important, if you really believe artificial global warming is a huge menace to society, you don't just buy offsets and continue using your antiquated coal-fired powerhouse -- because, after all, the offsets only prevent emissions from rising, doing nothing to reduce emissions. If you really believe artificial global warming is a menace, you buy offsets and cut your own carbon output, thus reducing emissions. This is the big fault with Al Gore's patting himself on the back for buying offsets: He has not reduced his carbon footprint. If he believed his own speeches, he'd both buy the offsets and cut back his carbon-intensive jet-set lifestyle.
Pelosi's talk of a "green" U.S. Capitol is especially phony when she refuses to allow the House of Representatives to vote on proposals to increase fuel-economy standards for vehicles. Higher mpg standards -- the average fuel economy of new cars, trucks and SUVs has not risen since 1988 -- are a million times more important to preventing artificial global warming than symbolic actions such as those being taken at the Capitol. Stricter mileage rules would not only reduce U.S. payments to Persian Gulf dictatorships but also make a significant dent in greenhouse gases because greenhouse emissions are proportional to fossil fuel burned. Yet while Pelosi announces lofty promises about a renewable Capitol, she won't schedule a vote on the strict new mileage standards backed by figures as diverse as President Bush and Barack Obama. (In the Senate, anything goes, but in the House, the Speaker has ironclad control over what comes to the floor.) Pelosi appears to want to prevent progress against petroleum waste so that Democrats can bash Republicans in 2008 by saying nothing has been done about automotive mileage. Wouldn't it be nice if the Speaker of the House were more concerned about the country than about political posturing!
They want to cooperate on reducing petroleum waste. Congress won't stand for that!
What of other political leaders? George W. Bush has proposed an international conference to negotiate nonbinding future goals for greenhouse gas reduction -- exactly the empty gesture his father proposed in 1992! As Juliet Eilperin of The Washington Post shows, all contenders for the presidency have embraced climate proposals that seem bold and sweeping. But read closely: None would have teeth until long after the bold politicians making the sweeping proposals leave office. Hillary Clinton, for instance, wants bold, sweeping action against greenhouse gases by 2030, when she would have been out of office for at least 14 years. John Edwards, whom TMQ likes because he emphasizes the forgotten issue of poverty, wants bold, bold, really bold action by 2050, when he will be 97 years old. Arnold Schwarzenegger is pulling this fast one, too. His bold, bold California climate plan has gotten him fawning press but does not require any action until after Schwarzenegger is out of office. Obama and Bush have backed higher mpg standards that would go into effect right now. But then, the lesson of Gore's Nobel Prize is that to talk big but do nothing of substance is what society rewards."
I wish we could see more of this from mainstream media, but we don't. Notice he bashes both sides of the political spectrum, we never see this in today's media because just like this article states, most (almost all) people in the media are Democrat or have contributed to liberal causes and would never question anyone like Gore or really any Democrat.
"Those Hollywood Searchlights Around Gore's Home Sure Eat Power: Gore wasn't the first quack to win the Nobel Peace Prize, and history suggests he will not be the last. Gore spent eight years in the White House, and in that time took no meaningful action regarding greenhouse gases. The Clinton-Gore administration did not raise fuel economy standards for cars and trucks or propose domestic carbon trading. Though Clinton and Gore made a great show of praising the Kyoto Protocol, they refused even to submit the treaty to the Senate for consideration, let alone push for ratification. During his 2000 run for the presidency, Gore said little about climate change or binding global-warming reforms. In the White House and during his presidential campaign, Gore advocated no consequential action regarding greenhouse gases; then, there was a political cost attached. Once Gore was out of power and global-warming proposals no longer carried a political cost -- indeed, could be used for self-promotion -- suddenly Gore discovered his intense desire to demand that other leaders do what he had not! It is a triumph of postmodernism that Gore won the Nobel Peace Prize for no specific accomplishment other than making a movie of self-praise. Gore caused no peace nor led any reconciliation of belligerent parties nor performed any service to the dispossessed, the achievements the Peace Prize was created to honor. All Gore did was promote himself from Hollywood, and for this, he gets a Nobel. Very postmodern.
An annoying complication of Gore's Nobel is that few realize the award was given jointly to him and to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, an organization well worthy of distinction. The IPCC is a group of scientists who have spent two decades studying climate change in obscurity, and in many cases without pay. The IPCC's efforts have been selfless, motivated only by concern for society. Had the Nobel Peace Prize gone solely to the IPCC, it would have been a great day.
An astonishing measure of how out-of-touch the Norwegian Nobel Committee seems is that it gave a prize to Gore for hectoring others about energy consumption in the same year it was revealed that Gore, at his home, uses 20 times the national power average. Gore's extraordinary power waste equates to about 377,000 pounds of greenhouse gases annually, or about 20 Hummer Years worth of global warming pollution. (A Hummer Year, TMQ's metric of environmental hypocrisy, is the amount of carbon dioxide emitted in a typical year of driving a Hummer.) When his utility bill made the news -- though apparently not in Oslo -- Gore responded by saying he buys carbon offsets. That takes you back to the offset problem: All offsets do is prevent greenhouse gas accumulation from increasing. If you really believe there will be a global calamity unless greenhouse gas emissions are reduced 80 percent, as Gore told the Live Earth crowd, you would buy offsets and cut your own energy use. Instead, Gore flies around in fossil-fuel-intensive jet aircraft telling others: Do as I say, not as I do!
After news of Gore's personal energy consumption broke, Gore spokeswoman Kalee Kreider told The Associated Press the utility bill was justified because "Al and Tipper both work out of their home." This raises the question -- what kind of work are they doing? Perhaps reanimating Frankenstein; in Frankenstein movies, there is always a lot of electricity crackling wastefully about. Here are other possible reasons the Gores' home requires so much energy:
• Gore is building a time machine to return to Palm Beach, Fla., in October 2000.
• The former vice president is doing everything he personally can to cause global warming, so he can claim his predictions came true.
• Gore is growing marijuana in his basement. [Note from the corporate legal department: This is strictly a joke, ESPN is not accusing Al Gore of growing marijuana. We stand by our allegation that he is a sinister kingpin of international rare-bird smuggling.]
• Members of Gore's species require high power levels to maintain human form.
• Al and Tipper don't just leave the lights on when they make out, they leave the lights on all over the house."
And what about Congress? Gregg.....
"Congress Talks Green -- Action Is Another Matter: As debate heats up in the Senate regarding "carbon trading" legislation to reduce greenhouse gas emissions, I commend to readers this new paper by TMQ pal Robert Stavins of Harvard's Kennedy School of Government. Stavins is the top environmental economist in the United States, and his paper, though not exactly beach reading, tells you everything you need to know about carbon trading. Plus, Rob must be a great guy because he has nine titles.
Raising mileage standards for vehicles and enacting a carbon trading system for electric power generation are two highly desirable actions Congress can take right now, without doing economic harm, to cut greenhouse emissions, improve national security by reducing U.S. reliance on Persian Gulf oil and push Detroit automakers to become more competitive so they stay in business. But instead of taking badly needed action, the House of Representatives last week spent $89,000 of taxpayers' money to purchase 30,000 tons' worth of "carbon offsets" for its antiquated coal-burning powerhouse. Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi declared the U.S. Capitol will be green by 2008, but this sounds to me like political yammer.
First, according to estimates by resource economists, carbon offsets need to cost $20 to $25 per ton in order to generate a significant profit incentive for innovators, and thus inspire technical breakthroughs that will stave off artificial global warming. If the Capitol paid only $3 per ton, it wasn't buying much. More important, if you really believe artificial global warming is a huge menace to society, you don't just buy offsets and continue using your antiquated coal-fired powerhouse -- because, after all, the offsets only prevent emissions from rising, doing nothing to reduce emissions. If you really believe artificial global warming is a menace, you buy offsets and cut your own carbon output, thus reducing emissions. This is the big fault with Al Gore's patting himself on the back for buying offsets: He has not reduced his carbon footprint. If he believed his own speeches, he'd both buy the offsets and cut back his carbon-intensive jet-set lifestyle.
Pelosi's talk of a "green" U.S. Capitol is especially phony when she refuses to allow the House of Representatives to vote on proposals to increase fuel-economy standards for vehicles. Higher mpg standards -- the average fuel economy of new cars, trucks and SUVs has not risen since 1988 -- are a million times more important to preventing artificial global warming than symbolic actions such as those being taken at the Capitol. Stricter mileage rules would not only reduce U.S. payments to Persian Gulf dictatorships but also make a significant dent in greenhouse gases because greenhouse emissions are proportional to fossil fuel burned. Yet while Pelosi announces lofty promises about a renewable Capitol, she won't schedule a vote on the strict new mileage standards backed by figures as diverse as President Bush and Barack Obama. (In the Senate, anything goes, but in the House, the Speaker has ironclad control over what comes to the floor.) Pelosi appears to want to prevent progress against petroleum waste so that Democrats can bash Republicans in 2008 by saying nothing has been done about automotive mileage. Wouldn't it be nice if the Speaker of the House were more concerned about the country than about political posturing!
They want to cooperate on reducing petroleum waste. Congress won't stand for that!
What of other political leaders? George W. Bush has proposed an international conference to negotiate nonbinding future goals for greenhouse gas reduction -- exactly the empty gesture his father proposed in 1992! As Juliet Eilperin of The Washington Post shows, all contenders for the presidency have embraced climate proposals that seem bold and sweeping. But read closely: None would have teeth until long after the bold politicians making the sweeping proposals leave office. Hillary Clinton, for instance, wants bold, sweeping action against greenhouse gases by 2030, when she would have been out of office for at least 14 years. John Edwards, whom TMQ likes because he emphasizes the forgotten issue of poverty, wants bold, bold, really bold action by 2050, when he will be 97 years old. Arnold Schwarzenegger is pulling this fast one, too. His bold, bold California climate plan has gotten him fawning press but does not require any action until after Schwarzenegger is out of office. Obama and Bush have backed higher mpg standards that would go into effect right now. But then, the lesson of Gore's Nobel Prize is that to talk big but do nothing of substance is what society rewards."
I wish we could see more of this from mainstream media, but we don't. Notice he bashes both sides of the political spectrum, we never see this in today's media because just like this article states, most (almost all) people in the media are Democrat or have contributed to liberal causes and would never question anyone like Gore or really any Democrat.
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