Lost In Translation

No I'm not talking about the shitty movie starring Bill Murray or directed by the ugliest daughter of a director ever I'm talking about our society. One phrase that has made its way into the sports media is "It is what it is." Which translates into "I'm done talking." I thought I would translate some other things for you from sports to movies to media to our everyday society.....enjoy.


Phrase: Translation

Trust me: Fuck you

Hi, I'm from Greenpeace, do you have a moment?: Hi, I live in an upscale neighborhood with my parents, I drove my dad's SUV to get here, can I annoy you for the next five minutes?

From the makers of Independence Day: This movie will suck donkey balls.

People are trying to censor me!: One guy from the internet told me to shut up.

Man, I saw the boss was really yelling at you just now: HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHHHHAAAA!

Man, I feel horrible, I must be coming down with something: I am seriously hung over. I shouldn't have drunk 12 beers and played Madden all night.

Christians are so misguided, dumb and dangerous: I'm waaaaay to scared to say anything about Muslims.

I'm starting a green lifestyle: Eventually I'll get swept up in another fad.

I'll be starring in Drilbit Taylor coming this Spring: I'll be committing suicide soon.

I think porn objectifies women and is completely disgusting, immoral and violent towards women: I have a huge collection of girl on girl.

Hi, I'm Anderson Cooper: Man, I really look good on camera, make sure to get me in the foreground at all times.

Episode III wasn't that bad: George Lucas has ruined my childhood.

Based on a true story: We embellished a fuckload for this movie.

Based on true events: There is nothing true about this movie.

My wife and I share a wonderful, equal commitment: Has anyone seen my balls?

No honey, I don't think that waitress looks good at all: I'll be thinking about her during sex tonight.

It's ok honey, I wasn't that horny either: I'll just masturbate in the dark and cry for a while.

I believe in cultural diversity: White people suck.

I think Al Sharpton and Jessie Jackson do a lot for African Americans: Seriously, white people suck.

I really like the music of Kanye West and 50 cent: I fantisize about pistol whipping honkey.

America was built on a sham and deserves to go down in flames: I think I need to stop reading NUVO for a while.

Liberals are to blame for everything: I need to stop reading NewsMax for a while.

Democrats/Republicans came out with their list of candidates: We have shitty candidates and aren't afraid to use them.

Now joining us is James Carville: Advert your eyes! Quick! This fucker is ugly as sin.

Hi I'm Larry King: Listen to me fart on air repeadedly.

It's a good size: Christ your small!

Breast size really doesn't matter to me: Thank god you have big boobs.

Socially conscious lyrics: I'm trying to sell more records by pretending to care.

I think Fall Out Boy rules!: I like anal sex.

That last season of Saturday Night was awesome: I'm Corky from Life Goes On.

That's why I direct now: I couldn't find an acting job to save my life.

I'll only have a couple of drinks tonight: I'll probably be in the ER getting my stomach pumped in a couple of hours.

Socialized medicine will work for this country: I like the DMV a lot!

This is a horrible problem for society that needs to be resolved!: Once a Democrat reaches office we will never hear about it again.

I can't think of anything else.