Monday, December 28, 2009

Top Ten Movies of the Aughts

Here we go. Again this is my list. F-off off if you don't like 'em. I'm trying to cut down on cussing for my new years resolution.

10) Hot Fuzz

9) Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie

8) Snatch

7) Beerfest

6) No Country For Old Men

5) Sin City

4) Touching the Void

3) Layer Cake

2) 24 Hour Party People

1) Shaun of the Dead

There you go. No liberal b/s message. No self important pretentious b/s. No stupid Vice President jokes. No environmental beat-you-in-the-brain-you-should-be-mindful-of-mother-earth-while-flying-around-in-a-private-jet-and-making-movies-that-leave-carbon-footprints-larger-than-10million suv's-bullcrap. Just straight up beer-me entertainment.

Ahh, much better.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

The Best Albums Of The Aughts

Goodbye aughts, hello roaring teens. Or depression teens, depending on who you talk to. Well, had a good decade, got engaged, then broke it off, became a funeral director, sold caskets, got burned out, then laid off. Had a couple of very awkward relationships with the opposite sex. Told a girl that kissing her made me throw up. Got drunk a lot, then sobered up, then got drunk a lot again, then sobered up again. Lost a lot of weight, met my current wife on the internets, got engaged again, got married, gained all the weight back. Saw Europe, bought a shitty house where two swift kicks to the wall will take you outside the house, had a kid. Got bone crippling depression from a job I despised, went back to school, got another degree, found a great job. Had another kid, then another, hopefully not another anytime soon (we're running out of names). So there you go, my decade in a nutshell.

But the thing I'll remember most about the decade is the albums, those awesome albums that got me through decade of "shock and awe" and "hopey, changey." Now, this is my list, alright? So make your own and post it and leave me alone. I know they suck, I have shitty taste in music.

10) Bouncing Souls - How I Spent My Summer Vacation (2001) - Now, this album is pretty much your standard poppy punk album, but what stands out are all the memories of that awesome year of 2001 that are associated with it. Seriously, it was a good year.

9) Dethklok - The Dethalbum (2008) - They aren't really technically a band but damn is it good. Melodic death metal. Lost Vikings is about a group of Vikings riding to battle then become lost, then are too stubborn to stop and ask directions. Funny and rocking.

8) Face to Face - How To Ruin Everything (2002) - The last album from one of my favorite bands.

7) Massive Attack - 100th Window (2003, I think) - Very haunting, melodic piece of electronica.

6) Minus The Bear - Menos el Oso (2005) - Yes, it's just Minus the Bear in mexican, or some sort of spanish. One of the few new bands that surprised me and made a great album.

5) Radio 4 - The New Song And Dance (2000) - The first album I ever bought on the internets. Sounds a lot like The Clash, yes I know, but it's still damn good.

4) The Suicide Machines - The Suicide Machines (2000) - The happily go lucky young men turned angry young men. Getting swept up in a "revolution" will do that I guess. But hey, I actually played one of their songs at my wedding.

3) Them Crooked Vultures - Them Crooked Vultures (2009) - Yes, I like this album that much.

2) The Underworld - A Hundred Days Off (2002) - An album that I have not really put down since I bought. Great combo of electronica and hypnotic melodies. Or whatever.

1 b) Queens of the Stone Age - Songs For The Deaf (2002) - Awesome, great, spectacular, another superlative! Josh Homme caught something special and unleashed it on us.

1a) Rush - Vapor Trails (2002) - Seriously, great album. When I first heard One Little Victory on the internets I got a chubby. Seriously, I did. But it's basically Neil Peart bearing his tormented soul to the nerds, and we all listened, and bought the shirt.