Thursday, May 15, 2008

Screw You Guys, I'm Going Home

Is pretty much what I said on my very last day of clinicals at a local hospital. Let me explain what I have been doing for the last 2 years. Around late 2002 I was so unbelievably sick of my mind numbing, spirit crushing job that I tried to find something that I would enjoy for the rest of my life, well after 2 years of searching and annoying the shit out of my roommates and my wife I finally found something, respiratory therapy. It's basically healthcare without dealing with poop. I deal with mostly smokers, old people with pneumonia, asthma patients or anybody who goes on a vent. About 2 years ago at this time I started the Respiratory Therapy program at Ivy Tech Community College, I went to Ivy Tech not because I really wanted to but because Clarian (the program at IUPUI) was a 4 year school and I didn't feel like going to school for 4 more years. Ivy Tech was only a 2 year program. So off to Ivy Tech I went. So for the last 2 years I had put up with:

- Being a slave for various hospitals in the Indianapolis area and beyond (Columbus, Bloomington).
- Going to some really fucking dirty hospitals and long term care facilities (I'm still trying to get the stench of Kindred out of my nose).
- Some REALLY bad teachers.
- Thousands of tests.
- Enough paperwork to bring down any rain forest.
- Working part time, going to school, going to clinicals and dealing with my son the devil's cabana boy.
- Lack of sleep.
- Constantly being called "the student."
- Severely decreased time to drink myself into oblivion.
- Suctioning numerous amounts of foul smelling trachs.
- Giving millions upon millions of respiratory treatments to smokers and former smokers.
- Horrifically obese patients, I never thought I would actually find a fat person that had food in his/her folds. Well, I did.
- The Patriots almost going perfect.
- The Pacers sucking
- The Red Sox winning the world series.
- The piling up of debts
- A dwindling savings account (which now has roughly $1,000, thanks President Bush).
- Aweful preceptors that didn't give a shit, and a lot that did (we had to have someone to around us at all times when we were slaves).

But now I'm done, and I really love my job. The graduation sucked complete ass but at least I was hung over and didn't really notice. So next time you guys come to a hospital in respiratory distress I might be there to jam a tube down your throat. God help us all.

Of course a Democrat will probably get into office an institute universal healthcare and I will be screwed.

1 comment:

Michael Maier said...

Yeah... three socialist bastard presidential candidates and an impending depression looming large.

Lucky you!

You'll probably be drafted into the "Med Corp" and given a pathetic stipend.