Sunday, October 19, 2008

Phillies V. Rays - Worst. World. Series. Ever.

In Terms Of Ratings Anyways

I love baseball, no matter who's playing I keep paying attention 'till the end. My Yankees are staring down years of mediocrity thanks to shitty (or no) drafting and spending shitloads of money on crap free agents (Kevin Brown, Pavano, Sheffield, Damon, Giambi-past 2005 anyways). And then there are the Cubs.......

(silence)

Let's move on....

The Phillies are going back to the world series, the last time they were there Mike Schmidt and Charley Hustle were sporting mustaches and awesome bowl haircuts. Their entry into this year's series is as surprising as the Giants going to Super Bowl last year. Ok, maybe not THAT surprising but they did have to go through L.A. Ok, it really isn't that surprising given the fact that the Cubs would have found a way to fuck it up. Note to Cub officials: In the future, do not let Eddie Vedder write a song about going all the way until AFTER the playoffs are over. And do not, I repeat, do not let a priest bless the Cub's dugout. I don't think god gives a rat's ass who wins a playoff series. Anyways, I think the Phillies have no shot. Whoever won the A.L was going to win it all no matter what. Home field advantage, better teams. The Phils been sitting around waiting for their opponent for too long, and they still have to wait until Wednesday night to start playing. As the old saying goes, idle hands means more free time on the genitals, and you know how much god hates that. Plus the Phillies are starting Brett (boom...outta here) Myers. They are fucked my friends.

The Rays. The fucking Tampa Bay (formerly Devil) Rays. I really thought for sure after Boston came back on them in game 5 I it was over, it seemed Boston winning the next 3 games was merely a formality. Boston does this shit all the time, completely implode for the first four games then do the annoying don't die never give up rallies that crush the spirit of their foes. Not this year. I have to say Madden did a great job juggling his bullpen tonight in a very tense and tight game after completely fucking up game 5 where he had the game in hand. Congrats to the Rays for doing something in 11 years that the Cubs could not do in a 100. Boston has some decisions to make in the off season. Varitek is old, Papi is not his former self, Beckett is a douche, Pappelbon looks like a date rapist, and Youkalis needs to grow hair with his fucking beard. Seriously, you look like you have a chinstrap with no helmet. I know the last three have no bearing on the Sox's future but they really annoy the fuck out of me. I think the biggest reason they didn't win it all this year was evident, no Manny. I was surprised they traded him away. When Manny went Manny and pushed down a 90 year old traveling secretary someone from the front office came down and chastised the ancient man for getting the way of Manny's thrusting hand. But baby needed his bottle, he wanted out. Good riddance....oops. No more timely home run hitting, it was wasted on the Dodgers. And that's why Boston lost. Not because Beckett was injured, not because Lester kind of sucks now and again, not because Pedrora (sp?) looks like an unformed fetus. Nope, Manny wasn't there to bail you out. Well, at least there will be none of this shit this year:




So on to the World Series. I will be watching, but I'm afraid no one else will be. I guess this is why Stern rigs NBA finals to make sure the big market teams make it. That's not the way it flies in the MLB, teams actually have to win without the aid of officials (cough....Jeffrey Maier).

Note: I just realized that the Phillies made it to the Series back in '93. How in the hell could I forget Wild Thing Williams giving it up to Joe Carter? Oh wait, I was in high school and I was too busy trying to "score" and air drumming to ELP and Rush all day.

7 comments:

Godfather Weilhammer said...

There's still a World Series? I'll be damned. Truthfully, I'm just happy Sawx fans are angry.

Michael Maier said...

Nostradomus you ain't.

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Anonymous said...

remember when you predicted the rays to beat the phillies easily...hahahaha, what a jack ass

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