Sunday, November 9, 2008

The Great Debate - The Best Adult Cartoon Of All Time

Which Adult, and I mean non-pornographic, cartoon is the best of all time? The Simpsons, Family Guy or South Park? This isn't as easy as it sounds because I know the majority of you, all 2, are already giving The Simpsons the award. But as Lee Corso says on ESPN, "shut the fuck up, my friends!" Or something like that. But I'm going to break it down beyond scientific and deem one of the these cartoons the best of all time.

The Best of the Best - Simpsons, Family Guy, South Park.


Simpsons - Though minuscule elements of The Flintones show up sometimes by and large the Simpsons are very original. The town, the people, the episodes all very original.

Family Guy - Unfortunately there have been accusations from many, including the creators of Simpsons, that Family Guy has "borrowed" many elements and themes from The Simpsons. I read that Seth McFarlane will run for Vice President someday. Anyways maybe this video will convince you.

Or maybe this pic..

South Park - Very original and groundbreaking. But, if it weren't for the Simpsons they would not have ever gotten on the air. They also did an episode paying homage to the Simpsons basically saying that the Simpsons have done everything and it's hard as hell to come up with ideas every week.

Winner: Simpsons

That Creamy Middle - The Classic Episodes

During a show's run there are episodes that are not as crappy as the first season and run a coarse of classics, then take a dip in quality. These 3 shows are no different. Or are they? Though I would venture to say Perfect Strangers was never shitty, ever.

Simpsons - 1992 - 2001. I'm being pretty generous with this but during these 10 seasons The Simpsons had nary a crappy episode. Maybe a downer or two but never completely shitty. After 2002 the quality of the jokes took a dip, then nosedived after 2004. Right now it's pretty close to unwatchable.

Family Guy - 1999 - 2003, 2005 - 2007. Even though Family Guy does that annoying flashback thing so much that it starts to take away from the quality of the show it is still enjoyable as hell. Well, at least until this season. I was going to hold judgement until a couple of episodes in but Family Guy season 7 has been pretty disappointing, bordering on complete crap. The episode tagged "I Dream Of Jesus" was pretty funny but all other have been crap even the highly anticipated Stewie and Brian adventure episode. I think Family Guy has finally jumped the shark.

South Park - 1997 - present. I was wavering on this for a while but really there was never a season where I didn't think South Park was hilarious. Every time they make a so so episode they always come back strong. This new season is no different. Breast Cancer show was pretty boring but Pandemic 1 and 2 was funny as hell. Plus the new "About Last Night..." episode was fucking hilarious.

Winner: South Park

Characters - () denotes crappy and/or unfunny character, bold denotes great character.

Simpsons - Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa(), Maggie, Chief Wiggum, Moe, Carl, Lenny, Mr. Burns, Smithers, Comic Book Guy, Kent Brockman, Milhouse, Otto, Principal Skinner.

Family Guy - Peter, Lois, Stewie, Brian, Chris(), Meg, Cleveland, Quagmire, Joe, Loretta(), Bonnie, Mort, Mort's wife and kid.

South Park - Cartman, Kyle, Stan, Kenny, Stan's family, Kyle's family, Mr. Garrison, Barbrady, Mr. Slave, Big Gay Al

Winner: South Park - I just like the South Park characters a lot more plus they poke fun at themselves for having one black character naming him Token.

Who They Poke Fun Of

Simpsons - It used to be everyone until about 2000, then they started down the road of only poking fun of Christians and Republicans. Since they have so many celebrity guests they have to keep them happy. Well, most celebrities are liberal douchebags so they can only make fun of Christians and Republicans.

Family Guy - Creator Seth McFarlane is from Boston, so it's pretty much law out there that you have to be liberal. So they pretty much only make fun of, you got it, Christians (more specifically Catholics) and Republicans. It definitely doesn't take away from the show, obviously I think it's funny as hell though I would have to say that the McCain/Palin button on the Nazi uniform was a tad overboard.

South Park - Everyone and everything which is why I like them so gosh darn much. They even had the balls to go after the very sue happy scientologists and (gasp) Muslims. I'll never understand why hard core liberals never say anything about extreme Muslims. Isn't it awful what's going on in Darfur? Yep, extreme Muslims. Oh it's awful what's going on in China. Again, extreme Muslims. And that whole thing going on in Singapore? Wow. Yep, you got it, extreme Muslims.

Winner: South Park

Main Characters

Simpsons - The Simpson family, a fat, drunk guy, a precocious 10 year old, a know-it-all very annoying 8 year old, a cute baby that doesn't speak and a sexy housewife.

Family Guy - A fat, drunk guy, a dumb 16 year old, an annoying 17 year old, a sexy housewife, a diabolical (and closet homosexual) baby and a know-it-all dog with an extreme drinking problem that somehow owns a Prius even though he has no job or means of support.

South Park - 4 8 year olds with potty mouths.

Winner: Simpsons by a hair.

The Movies

Simpsons (2006) - Pretty damn close to unwatchable and horrifically unfunny. You would think that any movie that "kills" off Green Day would be awesome but it wasn't. The corners of my mouths went nowhere near up. I turned it off halfway through completely disappointed. The sad thing was, I was drinking and it still wasn't funny.

Family Guy (2005) - Technically they didn't have a theatrical release but they did have a DVD movie. Pretty funny, especially in the beginning, but it started to teeter off in the last 30 minutes. Still enjoyable.

South Park (1999) - I never laughed so hard in my life in a movie theater. I was in a half crowded theater and the laughter was so loud it sounded like it was sold out. I didn't hear half the punch lines because everyone was hysterical. Probably in my top 10 movies of all time list, if I had one.

Winner: South Park

The Winner - To me it's South Park by a hair over the Simpsons. South Park is still relevent and funny as hell. Unfortunately I can't say the same about the other two. I know it's bad when I look forward more to American Dad than I do Family Guy or Simpsons. What do you douchebags think?


Godfather Weilhammer said...

This douchebag has to say that The Simpsons controlled the world for many years, but the emergence of South Park and even Family Guy have taken some of that thunder, but not all. South Park shoots for hitting big issues but using children to show how stupid adults can be for what they think. I still like Family Guy, albeit hit and miss. Overall, I'd have to say South Park, but if the Simpsons had made a movie 5 years earlier, they would still be the kings.

Vote Quimby.

Prime Mover said...

"Vote Quimby."


The Simpsons will always be king in the realm of Holloween specials, which thanks to the MLB playoffs always shows around Thanksgiving.

I don't know, I have just been really impressed with South Park's run of great episodes. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that South Park doesn't have a revolving door of writers like Simpsons and FG.

I have to agree about the movie. If The Simpsons made the movie 5-10 years ago I probably wouldn't be writing this crappy, illiterate post.