Sunday, January 18, 2009

You Stay Classy Coach Dungy, Thanks For Everything

I have absolutely no time to blog anymore. It's pretty tough to find time to sit down and actually pour my shitty, grammar mistake filled thoughts onto this piece of crap blog. Either I sign up for another twelve hour shift which will make me nice money, or I blog. I either go feed my 5 month old whose doing the pointing sign to his mouth, or I blog. I either go bail my wife out of jail for yet another DUI, or I blog. But I had to find time to comment about our boy Tony Dungy. See, I've seen certain self hating Hoosiers and Brown fans drop trough and void their bowels all over Tony's career on other blogs, and I've got to stick up for my boy Tony.

First Round Playoff Exits

Let's get the bad points out of the way first. 6 first round exits in his career. Pretty crappy really and trust me, I was throwing my son's Cars chair across the room (without my son in it) the other week because of yet another first round turd laid, even though San Diego got some help with some shitty calls in OT. Still, they should have won that game. Except for that run in 2006 Tony is constantly out coached by some shitty coaches (and some good ones) in the post season (really, Norv? Norv freaking Turner? Twice? Manuel Noriega twice in your career?). It's frustrating it really is, and it's a legit beef.

He's a Defensive Guru Yet His Defense Is Like a Matador

True, his defense borders on shitty some years but this year was a pass considering one of his DTs decided to "retire" and another got in some trouble. And since Tony isn't a hypocrite he released the one that ran afoul of the law. Since Tony already has a pretty small defense it's hard to replace a couple of huge bodies in the middle and therefore hard to stop the run which was pretty evident since Mighty Mouse (Sproles) ran all over Indy. But you also have to realize that Tony has to deal with injuries and a revolving door of defenders year in and year out. I know all coaches in the NFL have to coach around these problems but the Colts had to deal with their best players constantly being injured (see Bob Sanders, Mathis, Freeny, etc.). I think Tony did a great job with what he had.

His Playoff Record Sucks

9-10 with one super bowl win. And no, that super bowl win was not lucky. I don't know how you luck yourself into a field goal game with the top defense in league (Baltimore) or luck yourself back from a 21-6 deficit with a team that has always spiritually depantsed you every playoff game or how you luck yourself into a monsoon even though your considered a "non weather" team against the top D in the NFC. Yes Chicago won in spite of Sexy Rexy but they were still a good team, much better than Seattle of 2005 anyway. It wasn't luck, they earned every bit of that super bowl ring. Tony has also made the playoffs all 7 seasons at Indy. Even the great Bill Belicheck has missed the playoffs 2 times in the last 7 season. Still, an under .500 playoff record really isn't all that good. But let's compare some other coaches post season record I have heard self hating Hoosiers and Colts fans throw around to replace Tony and some other coaches of Tony's ilk.

Jeff Fisher: 5-6 postseason, 0-1 in super bowls. And he was one music city miracle away from not even getting that super bowl appearance. Oh, and he just had a first round outsting even though his team was the #1 seed.

Recently fired Jon Gruden: 5-4 postseason, 1-0 in super bowls. Chucky should really thank Tony for building him a team for him to use and should thank his lucky stars that he faced his former team Oakland that didn't even bother to change their offensive playbook for the super bowl. Also, no playoff appearances since 2002.

Mike Holmgren: 13-11 postseason, 1-2 in super bowls.

Dick Vermeil: 6-5 postseason, 1-1 in super bowls

The Chin Bill Cowher: 12-9 postseason, 1-1 in super bowls.

Tom Coughlin: 8-7 postseason, 1-0 in super bowls (and what a super bowl that was).

Marty "Gleam" Schottenheimer: 5-13 postseason (!), no super bowl appearances.

Mike Shanahan: 8-5 postseason, 2-0 in super bowls. Was completely lost after Elway left.

Andy Reid: 11-7 postseason: 0-1 in super bowls.

Bill Belecheck: 14-3 postseason, 3-1 super bowls. Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater! Cheater!

Well, except for Bill Belecheck (even though he's an arrogant prick records don't lie) really there is no one with a great postseason record. So when someone starts bitching that Tony sucks in the postseason just politely, or not so politely, remind them that everyone else does too.

The Good Points

Regular Season Record

139-69. That ain't bad. Yes, I know, it doesn't mean crap in the postseason. But still, 13 seasons and 139 games won which averages out to 11 wins a year. I know most coaches that would kill for that kind of success. This year was pretty damn good also, 9 straight wins (well 8 really, that little scrimmage at the end of the season doesn't really count) after a 3-4 record to start things out. And some of those wins were grind 'em out kind of wins against good teams like Pittsburgh, New England and (shudder) San Diego. He has also had at least 12 wins in the last 6 seasons (NFL record) and he has had only 1, count 'em, one sub .500 record in the regular season (I will ignore the 1 .500 season he had). You have to admire that kind of success.

He's Even Keeled With His Team and On Speaking Terms With The Big Guy Upstairs

He doesn't yell, he doesn't spit, and he doesn't do ridiculous things to try and motivate his team, he treats his players like adults, because contrary to popular belief they are adults. And yelling doesn't usually mean success (see list up above). Besides, Bill B. is one hell of a coach and he's a monotone motorboat. Also, most Christians I've come across are complete hypocrites, especially the celebrity ones, not Tony. He talks the talk and walks the walk. He's VERY into the community not only here but his home in Tampa and I have to salute a man who constantly visits sick kids and brothers in the joint to try and turn their lives around. I'm pretty proud to say Coach Dungy was the Colts coach because not only did he represent our team with class and style, he also represented our city and the unwashed brethren within, black, white, whatever. He's kind of like the coaching version of Barak, except for all the horrific cabinet selections and crappy VP selection (insert plagiarized speech joke here).

He Shaped Peyton

Someone brought up a good point about this. Before Dungy arrived Peyton threw a crap ton of interceptions. After his arrival, Peyton not only threw less interceptions (except for that freaky 6 int Charger game) he was also more efficient. Maybe it was Dungy's tutelage, maybe it was Peyton getting wiser and older, who knows? But it's pretty evident that Tony's arrival helped Peyton.

He Turned Around A CRAPPY Franchise

Did I say crappy? I meant horrific. Tampa was a joke, they were worse than the Rays of Tampa. Tony was instrumental in turning that gay pirate ship around. So they got a little lucky in the draft (Sapp, Brooks, etc). So Monte Kiffin helped him a little in the Tampa 2 scheme. The proof is in the results, by the fourth year they were in the NFC championship game and slugged it out with the Greatest Show on Turf, and if it wasn't for a crappy officiating call they would have gone to the super bowl.

So there you go. I will miss Tony but I fully embrace his replacement. Ol' whatshisname..uhhh...Cauldwell something. Anyways good luck Tony, and even though your beliefs really doesn't mesh with Obama's (that whole abortion thing) I'm sure you'll be in his cabinet at some point, and that will be the first good choice he makes.

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