The Great Debate - It's Raining Men or How I've Learned to Accept My Inner Gayness

The Indigo Girls
Scott Thompson
Ellen Degeneres
Mike Greenburg
Jeff Garcia

They all want to get married legally. So what's all the hubbub? Why can't they and should they? Ahh the great debate of ghey marraige. John-O broke his silence(finally)and spoke his peace while reviewing bat shit insano's (Penn's) new movie Milk. I guaranfuckingtee you this will win best picture and best actor (ugh!). I refuse to see the movie, no, not because I hate gays. I just hate Penn with a passion because he's a total fucking, hypocritical a-hole and mentally unstable to boot. So I decided to read up on the actual person Harvey Milk. To tell you the truth, I was bored. Inspirational? Sure (especially coming out during those times) but really lost on me because I'm not gay, that and I'm totally fucking jaded. Now before I delve into the hot topic of Adam and Steve (or Eve and ahhh Carol?) tying the knot I would like to show this little ditty.



Kind of funny, though I think Jack Black and Margeret Cho are complete wastes of space. I take offense of it a little because they insinuate that all practicing Christians are against gay marriage. I love liberals, not all Muslims are terrorists but all Christians are homophobes and dumber than hell. Fuck you douches, I got a 510 total on my SATs, that is not dumb. Besides, Muslims are not exactly tolerant of gays. I've read many articles of gay men and women reciting how homophobic Muslims are, Chris Crain can tell you that first hand.

Anyways...

Why they should Marry: It's pretty much a fundamental right, isn't it? You can argue and argue but in the end (pun intended) it's pretty stupid that they shouldn't have the right to marry. It's the old joke, all gays should have the right to get half of their shit taken away. In the immortal words of Otto from A Fish Called Wanda, "Pork away pal, fuck her blue." That made no sense, but if and when gays do have the right do not, I repeat, do not come crying back to me when you realize how hard it is to be married, and how much of a commitment it really is because I don't want to hear it. Why you would come crying back to me, I don't know, but you get my point. You buttered you bread and now you got to lay in it. As one comedian said, where there's gay marriage, there's gay divorce. Just think of the billable hours the attorneys will collect settling gay divorces. But I've also seen first hand how gay couple's rights are taken away when their partner is sick in the hospital. Next of kin only, their partner, who they love and cherish and have taken care of all these years are out of the picture in place of family members who couldn't give a shit about them. That's wrong IMHO.

Also..

Think of the money spent on lavish weddings by the guys from Queer Eye. That helps the economy! Ok, I don't know how 10% of the U.S. population getting married will actually help the economy but you get my point.....again. Christ I'm rambling.

Why They Shouldn't: Cannot think of a good reason. Maybe someone else can. BUT, I do think it's someones right to be against gay marriage. Call it homophobia call it what you will but someone can object to someones lifestyle as long as they are not intruding on their rights. See? I just talked myself out of this because not allowing them to marry is against their rights.

Obama: It wouldn't be me without ragging on John-O for his ultra liberal views (channeling my inner Rush Limbaugh to his inner Olbermann) but Barack's stance on gay marriage is a little surprising. He's against gay "marriage", but he's for Civil Unions. Alright, not exactly surprising but seriously, old Democrats and Clinton people? That's our "change"? Plus he's backing away from almost all his campaign promises and he's NOT EVEN IN FUCKING OFFICE YET!! Except for the environmental one, which I think is hilarious. 1.4 Billion to turn blue collar jobs into green collar jobs, without an explanation of how or explaining how he will come up with the money to pay for it. Love it.

Anyways, this was a shitty post but you get my point. I'm personally against prohibiting gays to marry, shocker since I'm a half assed Republican and a Christian. What about you smucks? What do you think?

The NFL Round Down

Matt Leinart...Drunk Quaterback


I'm tripping balls right now, ok, a little abbreviated but I thought I would bore the shit out of you with some drunken meandering NFL thoughts.

Colts 10 Browns 6

I actually didn't start watching this game until midway through the 3rd quarter and it looked like I didn't miss shit. Boring as hell game with one highlight, Robert Mathis rumbling and stumbling for a touchdown after a nice Dwight Freeney slap fumble. Then Mathis, again, knocking out DA for the year with a sack near the end. Now Browns fan have someone else to bitch about on the Colts other than Jim Sorgi. Bitter Browns fan. Mention the fumble...oh well. Mention the drive...meh. Mention Bill Belichek...who? Mention Art Modell....ok, a little hatred comes out but mention Jim Sorgi..total fucking meltdown. The Colts are on a roll, but beware of the Lions, seriously, there is nothing more dangerous than a winless team this late in the year. Ask the Ravens of last year.

White People, I mean, European American Running Backs Unite!

Peyton Hillis of the Broncos final line: 22 carries 129 yards rushing 1 TD. The running back from Arkansas lit up the Jets with his fine Larry Czonka-esque (the only white running back I could think of) running style. And he's totally white, no one brought this up during the telecast. I can be proud of my race dammit. That was fucking awesome! My new fav running back!

The Giants Are Good

Even after their star wide receiver shot himself in the leg (fucker is lucky it missed the femoral) the G men went out and smoked the Redskins.

The Pats

Will the real Matt Cassel please stand the fuck up. Two weeks in a row he threw for 400 bills and shitloads of touches. Then this week he through (dammit I'm drunk) threw for a buck fifty and 2 picks, I know that his wide receivers had the case of the dropsies but fuckin 'ell. I was going to write a shitty post that maybe Thom Brady isn't all that great and that Belecheck's system makes a mediocre quarterback great, but maybe Brady is that good, and handsome. He still has a butt for a chin though. I knew that the Steelers were going to play Patriot Pat tough due to the embarrassing lost last year but 30 unanswered points? Fuck me man. Maybe the Pat's D is old as hell.

J-E-T-S O-V-E-R-R-A-T-T-E-D

Brett Favre turned into the Brett we all know and love by throwing passes that even a rook wouldn't think about tossing. The Broncos, who have a D made a swiss cheese, dominated the Jets at the Medowlands. The gay part of Mike and Mike in the morning are pretty pissed right now, or soaking in the tub and getting a manicure to cope with today's debacle

How 'bout them overrated Cowboys!

Seriously, don't starting sucking each others dicks just yet if your a Cowboys fan, the boys can be easily exposed just like Mike Singaltary during halftime. I'm just not sold, you rattle Tony Romo and he's shit for a quarterback. You hit Terrel Owens hard enough and he grows alligator arms.

Who's the MVP of this year?

John-O ran a poll asking who is the MVP of this year. I can't remember exactly who he put, he took it down, so I'll go from my whiskey soaked memory...

Kurt Warner? Good pick, but put them on the east coast and he folds.
Adrian Peterson? Another good pick, I would put him up there. I mean shit, they have Gus Ferret at quarterback for fuck sakes. Yes, I know I spelled his name wong, that was on porpoise.

I can't remember the rest but I know I'm a homer, but I choose Manning. No, not Peyton (though I think that if he wasn't in the lineup the Colts would be 1-11 right now) the Manning of the Eli variety. I really think that he's the MVP this year. He's the glue that keeps the Giants gear running. 11-1 and all those distractions in that media market? MVP fuckos.

I'm passing out, pancreatitis..here I come.