Sunday, November 30, 2008

The NFL Round Down


Matt Leinart...Drunk Quaterback


I'm tripping balls right now, ok, a little abbreviated but I thought I would bore the shit out of you with some drunken meandering NFL thoughts.

Colts 10 Browns 6

I actually didn't start watching this game until midway through the 3rd quarter and it looked like I didn't miss shit. Boring as hell game with one highlight, Robert Mathis rumbling and stumbling for a touchdown after a nice Dwight Freeney slap fumble. Then Mathis, again, knocking out DA for the year with a sack near the end. Now Browns fan have someone else to bitch about on the Colts other than Jim Sorgi. Bitter Browns fan. Mention the fumble...oh well. Mention the drive...meh. Mention Bill Belichek...who? Mention Art Modell....ok, a little hatred comes out but mention Jim Sorgi..total fucking meltdown. The Colts are on a roll, but beware of the Lions, seriously, there is nothing more dangerous than a winless team this late in the year. Ask the Ravens of last year.

White People, I mean, European American Running Backs Unite!

Peyton Hillis of the Broncos final line: 22 carries 129 yards rushing 1 TD. The running back from Arkansas lit up the Jets with his fine Larry Czonka-esque (the only white running back I could think of) running style. And he's totally white, no one brought this up during the telecast. I can be proud of my race dammit. That was fucking awesome! My new fav running back!

The Giants Are Good

Even after their star wide receiver shot himself in the leg (fucker is lucky it missed the femoral) the G men went out and smoked the Redskins.

The Pats

Will the real Matt Cassel please stand the fuck up. Two weeks in a row he threw for 400 bills and shitloads of touches. Then this week he through (dammit I'm drunk) threw for a buck fifty and 2 picks, I know that his wide receivers had the case of the dropsies but fuckin 'ell. I was going to write a shitty post that maybe Thom Brady isn't all that great and that Belecheck's system makes a mediocre quarterback great, but maybe Brady is that good, and handsome. He still has a butt for a chin though. I knew that the Steelers were going to play Patriot Pat tough due to the embarrassing lost last year but 30 unanswered points? Fuck me man. Maybe the Pat's D is old as hell.

J-E-T-S O-V-E-R-R-A-T-T-E-D

Brett Favre turned into the Brett we all know and love by throwing passes that even a rook wouldn't think about tossing. The Broncos, who have a D made a swiss cheese, dominated the Jets at the Medowlands. The gay part of Mike and Mike in the morning are pretty pissed right now, or soaking in the tub and getting a manicure to cope with today's debacle

How 'bout them overrated Cowboys!

Seriously, don't starting sucking each others dicks just yet if your a Cowboys fan, the boys can be easily exposed just like Mike Singaltary during halftime. I'm just not sold, you rattle Tony Romo and he's shit for a quarterback. You hit Terrel Owens hard enough and he grows alligator arms.

Who's the MVP of this year?

John-O ran a poll asking who is the MVP of this year. I can't remember exactly who he put, he took it down, so I'll go from my whiskey soaked memory...

Kurt Warner? Good pick, but put them on the east coast and he folds.
Adrian Peterson? Another good pick, I would put him up there. I mean shit, they have Gus Ferret at quarterback for fuck sakes. Yes, I know I spelled his name wong, that was on porpoise.

I can't remember the rest but I know I'm a homer, but I choose Manning. No, not Peyton (though I think that if he wasn't in the lineup the Colts would be 1-11 right now) the Manning of the Eli variety. I really think that he's the MVP this year. He's the glue that keeps the Giants gear running. 11-1 and all those distractions in that media market? MVP fuckos.

I'm passing out, pancreatitis..here I come.

3 comments:

John-O said...

The choices were Adrian Peterson, Eli Manning, Kerry Collins, Kurt Warner, and Someone Else. I included someone else but I thought somebody might be thinking of Drew Brees or Ben Roethlisberger

However, gaudy though Brees' numbers are, the Saints are in last place. Tough division, true, but they're in last place. Big Ben has decent numbers, but the defense is the reason Pittsburgh is so good (ditto Tennessee, though even more so than Pittsburgh). Warner's numbers are tasty, but Larry Fitzgerald and Anquan Boldin are playing so well right now that they would make Jim Sorgi look like MVP material. Finally, a big part of why the Giants are so good is their triple-threat running game, which lets them play lots of ball control and prevents Manning from getting the kind of numbers that would make him a shoo-in for MVP.

At this point, it has to be Adrian Peterson. Of the six guys mentioned, he would be missed the most if he were taken out of the lineup. All those other guys are fine players who are having pretty good seasons - but take any one of them out, and their respective team would find a way to soldier on. Those teams would drop a step without their MVP candidate, but they would go on.

Take out Peterson, and the Vikings are awful. They have Detroit this weekend, and if Peterson weren't on this Vikings team, this Lions-Vikings game might well be the #1 Draft Pick Bowl.

Last but not least, if we're going to talk about the five quarterbacks listed above, then we probably have to at least give some consideration to Jeff Garcia, Jake Delhomme, Aaron Rodgers, and yes...Brett Favre. You'd be hard pressed to convince me that any of those nine QBs are as valuable to his team as Adrian Peterson is to the Vikings.

Of course, they don't give MVP to the guy who is actually the most valuable player - they give it to the best player on the best team. Barring a major collapse in the last four games, that means Eli Manning will win.

But Adrian Peterson is the MVP.

Godfather Weilhammer said...

I go with Eli as well. I would say Brett Favre, but linking myself with John Madden so closely makes me physically ill.

Prime Mover said...

Steve,

Agreed, tried to find that Frank Tv skit with John Madden doing the bachelor thing.

John,

Agreed with Adrian Peterson, the man just wills his team to win. The guy plays harder than anyone in the league. But we all know Eli will win, even with earth, wind and fire in the backfield. Only one loss (how in the hell did they lose to Cleveland?), the New York media, and the fact that he's had to deal with major fuckstick Plexico Burris. Adrian Peterson probably should win but Eli has done a great job guiding the New York Football Giant ship.