Witless Protection
Starring: Larry The Cable Guy, Some chick who should be on Cinemax being banged by some dude with a barbed wire tattoo, Jenny McCarthy, ummm..some other people.
Review: Larry The Cable Guy plays a Sherriff who rescues some chick who is a part of some Enron type scandal deal and the kidnapper turns out to be an FBI agent. Larry is a huge red neck and he constantly....wait....I just got it. Witless protection is a play on words for Witness Protection. Oh snap! That's fucking hilarious! Jesus, who comes up with this stuff?! Give that man a raise! The movie itself? Uhh....it sucks balls. I haven't seen it but I'm guessing it sucks worse than Jumper, another movie I haven't seen. Anyhoo....
Star Ratings
If your a hick: ***** (out of 5) and Five thumbs up.
Snooty Liberal: 1/2 *
Complete Drunk: *** (out of 5)
Meth Addict: ** (out of 5)
If you work for NUVO: 1/2 1/2 * since it didn't involve gays or Bush bashing.
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1 comment:
I'll have you know that every person who was missing at least half their teeth enjoyed that film. Honestly, today we had an adorable family from what I assumed to be very RURAL Indiana...maybe a mouth full of teeth between the four of them. Plaid flannel cut-up shirts, just like Larry. Dirty jeans, and perhaps the faint smell of dung. Pride of the East Side!
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