Saturday, February 23, 2008

Movie Review Of A Movie I Didn't Bother To See

Witless Protection

Starring: Larry The Cable Guy, Some chick who should be on Cinemax being banged by some dude with a barbed wire tattoo, Jenny McCarthy, ummm..some other people.

Review: Larry The Cable Guy plays a Sherriff who rescues some chick who is a part of some Enron type scandal deal and the kidnapper turns out to be an FBI agent. Larry is a huge red neck and he constantly....wait....I just got it. Witless protection is a play on words for Witness Protection. Oh snap! That's fucking hilarious! Jesus, who comes up with this stuff?! Give that man a raise! The movie itself? sucks balls. I haven't seen it but I'm guessing it sucks worse than Jumper, another movie I haven't seen. Anyhoo....

Star Ratings

If your a hick: ***** (out of 5) and Five thumbs up.
Snooty Liberal: 1/2 *
Complete Drunk: *** (out of 5)
Meth Addict: ** (out of 5)
If you work for NUVO: 1/2 1/2 * since it didn't involve gays or Bush bashing.

1 comment:

Godfather Weilhammer said...

I'll have you know that every person who was missing at least half their teeth enjoyed that film. Honestly, today we had an adorable family from what I assumed to be very RURAL Indiana...maybe a mouth full of teeth between the four of them. Plaid flannel cut-up shirts, just like Larry. Dirty jeans, and perhaps the faint smell of dung. Pride of the East Side!