Tuesday, March 10, 2009

NBA Going Down In Flames?

Oh well, grab the marshmallows 'cause I don't give a rat's ass. Bill Simmons aka The Sports Guy aka Tom Brady's official fluffer actually wrote a decent article recently talking about the NBA's current money problems. I would give you the link to the article but I hate Simmons and doing so would somehow encourage you to read him, which I wouldn't. In it it explained that 10 teams have accepted a loan from JP Morgan for like kagillions of dollars to keep them afloat. I would give you a actual numbers but if Obama can throw out ridiculous numbers I can too. But really who cares? I certainly don't, I would rather see the NBA go down in a raging inferno than the NHL, and I don't watch hockey. So why would I actually want to see the NHL stay afloat than the NBA? Well I know you liberals probably think racism which is usually the first thing to come to mind for you folks (that and homophobia) when me wanting a league filled primarily with African Americans to hit the bricks than a league full of Europeans and European Americans. But here are the real reasons I seriously hate the NBA (except for the Pacers, which I still watch and root for, that's right, I'm that guy).

It's Horrifically Predictable

Emperor Stern changed the format of the playoffs a couple of years back basically to make sure that the top seeded teams made it through without a scratch. It's a hell of a lot easier for an 8th seed to upset a 1 seed in 5 games than in 7. I believe this crap started around 2000 so that the star studded Lakers had a clear path to the finals so we could see Shaq foul and violate the 3 second rule, Kobe handcheck and carry like mad and Phil Jackson sit on the bench asleep while scratching his balls. Fun stuff. Last year I stopped watching the NBA when I saw Boston and L.A. in first place in their respective conferences. And lo and behold look who's in the finals. It's just too damn predictable.

It's Star Driven, Not Team Driven

When you hear any announcement about upcoming games you hear: "Lebron and the Cavs" or "Kobe and the Laker". I know that's just the way sports is nowadays but the NBA have really put so much emphasis on their stars that passing and fundamentals takes a back seat to showboating assholes.

The Officiating Is Ridiculous

Back in the glory days of Micheal Jordan you not only had to face Jordan but the officials. If you breathed on the guy he would take a trip to free throw line. And opposite of that he could basically get in a car and run people over and the officials would choke on their whistles. And that's pretty much the way it goes with any star player. Numerous people, Ralph Nader was one of them, have pounded the NBA for shoddy officiating. Sterns response? Usually an arrogant, childish comment questioning the person who dares challenge Stern intellectual prowess. And it's right there, questionble call after questionable call. Even if you point Stern's nose right in the pile of shit that is his doing he just arrogantly brushes it off. Then this happened...

Tim Donoghy

After Stern defended the officials to the hilt so much that he fined Mark Cuban jabillions of dollars for even hinting that the officials suck it turned out that one of his brethren was right in the middle of a point shaving scandal. Seriously, if your review of officials were that great and you shat on anyone who questioned your authority how did this whopper get past you? Shittiest commissioner ever.

Guaranteed Contracts

You just signed a hefty contract, say 10 years 100 million. You start sucking the minute the contract sucks, so, can you take money away from the player? Nope, for the next 10 years, healthy or not, they will sit back, jerk off and count their money while he plays shitty defense and clangs free throws. Oh, he can say he's injured and stay on the bench and not get one penny taken away. Welcome to the world of Matt Geiger and other shitty contracts. The thing is, he's one of hundreds of shit guaranteed contracts in the NBA and while you ask what does it matter. Shouldn't they have the right to do this? Sure, but it sure makes for some shitty NBA games. And it has killed the NBA.

Thug Life

There are good guys in the league, Tim Duncan, Lebron, etc. But for every Aurther Ashe there are 10 Tupaks all tattooed up and waiting to bust a cap in any ones ass. And it isn't just the players, it's the entourage and fans, take a gander at thisarticle from a couple of years back.

There are more reasons but I'm sick of this shitty post.

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