This comes a day late (and a dollar short) but I'll do it anyways. My lovely wife scored suite tickets to the Pacers v. Timberwolves pre-season game a couple of weeks back so I got to see our Indiana Pacers up close and personal. So while I was pounding free beer, nachos and fruit I made mental notes and compiled my drunken opinion on how the Pacers will shape up for the waaaay too long NBA season for 2007-2008. They started out pretty strong last night without Jermaine O'Neal which made me proud. But since the NBA is as fixed as WWE (without the steroid induced murder-suicides) there is no fucking way Herr Stern would allow the Pacers anywhere near the NBA finals. But since I'm a Pacer fan for life, I'll give my stupid, drunken opinion of them. Trust me, if it weren't for the Pacers I would have stopped watching the NBA a looooong time ago.
The Ranking System Ala' Major League
They're Shitty
They're Still Shitty
These Guys Aren't Too Fucking Bad
We Can Beat the Yankees
Head Coach - Jim O'Brian
O'Brian took over after the Pacers mercifully wacked Jim Carrey as coach and decided to pump some energy in a very stagnant, slow and plodding offense that was killing us under Carlilse. So far, so good. The Pacers took Washington by surprise last night with the constant up tempo offense. But can the Pacers keep up this frenetic pace? We'll see..
Verdict - These Guys Aren't Too Fucking Bad
The Team
Any other GM would have been shown the door if they made the moves that Larry (I look 80 years old) Bird has made over the years. Last year he basically traded Al Harrington for Al Harrington then traded him again for a couple of white boys and a loss of a 1st round draft pick. Not as bad as Isiah Thomas, but still completely crappy. However the team is rid of all egos that basically killed it in the last two years (Stephen Jackson, Ron Artest, Al Harrington) and has replaced it with a roster that had me saying, "who are these fucking guys?" But let's run down the new talent the Pacers have.
Travis (You're killing me Smalls) Diener - Looks like the kid from the Sandlot, but he can pass, run and hit the 3 with regularity. Too bad his defense sucks.
If I'm not mistaken, that's pretty much it for new talent that the Pacers will use regularly.
The rest of the team is what you remember from last year after that horrific trade: Jamaal Tinsley (slimed down), Jermaine O'Neal, Danny Granger, Troy Murphy, and Mike Dunleavy.
Verdict - The Guys Aren't Too Fucking Bad
The Offense
Up tempo, break neck speed, hit the open man, hit the three. The Pacers field goal percentage was crap last night but it was a welcome site compared to the granny trot that was Jim Carrey's offense last year. But can they keep this up the entire year?
Verdict - The Guys Aren't Too Fucking Bad
The Defense
In order to win they are going to have to score more than the c-note they give up regularly to other teams. In other words....
Verdict - They're Shitty
The Bench
Couldn't pick them out of a police line up. Showed promise last night, but, this could easily tank if they go on a long stretch of losing.
Verdict - They're Still Shitty
The Management
Did I mention the horrific trades and draft picks made by Larry Bird? Yeah, I'm sure I did.
Verdict - They're Still Shitty
My Drunken NBA Predictions
Pacers
Will probably finish 6 or below in the Eastern Conference and then get bounced in the first round. But Jim O'Brian did actually take the Celtics to the 2002 Eastern Conference Finals, so who knows? Like I am with the Ohio State Buckeyes and the Indy Colts, cautiously optimistic, but will probably blow up in my face, and I'll go drink and cry and cry and drink some more.
The Rest of the NBA
Eastern Conference Champs - Pistons, or whoever Herr Stern wants to win.
Western Conference Champs - Suns, or whoever Herr Stern wants to win.
NBA Champs of 2008 - Whoever Herr Stern wants to win.
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