Scoop Jackon And His BS

As the lone Pacer fan left in the state I've been banging my head against the wall with the many ways the Pacers keep losing. Bad decisions, bad trades and only a couple of decent draft selections. We suck, but the east is so bad that we are still only a couple of games out of making the playoffs, unlike the New York Knicks, who suck complete balls. Why bring up Knicks? Well Scoop Jackson decided to write his usual piece of shit article basically saying the white man is the reason Isiah Thomas is getting so much shit and Larry Bird is receiving no criticism. Since firejaymariotti.com was asleep at the post I'll break down his horrific excuse for journalism.

And if I said Larry Bird has done more collateral damage to the Indiana Pacers than Thomas has done to the Knicks, you'd probably stop reading.

I wish I did. You see Scoop, unlike Larry, Isiah is in New York City running the most storied franchises in the league. The Pacers are in the Midwest and they were formally an ABA team that pretty much became a doormat to any NBA team when they merged back in the day. The Knicks are in a city with a ton of media scrutinizing anything and are a stones throw from ESPN - resident Boston lovers. The Pacers have Bob Kravitz and are in the Midwest. Anything the Knicks do in said city is immediately fodder for the media, anything the Pacers do basically means nothing in the grand scheme of the mainstream media.

Now, it would be unfair to Bird to blame him for everything that has gone wrong with the Pacers.

You just wrote yourself out of your own argument.

He had no control over The Brawl, no control over injuries that have taken games away from Jermaine O'Neal and Jamaal Tinsley.

That would pretty much fuck over any franchise. Let's see, your two best players have been down with injuries and your team starts sucking, go figure. How do you think the Bulls would have done without Jordan and Pippen? Lakers without Koby and Shaq? The Spurs without Duncan and the little French dude? How about the Knicks losing...uh....do they even have two good players?

The Brawl? That was pretty much a once in a lifetime stupid-fest that was started by a player the Pacers had to take a chance on because as much as Artest was bat shit insane he was a good defender. It also gave Herr Stern the opportunity to fuck over a small franchise team. Do you think he would have handed down such lengthy suspensions to the Lakers or Pistons? Doubt it.

But if bad things -- such as shootings at nightclubs (Stephen Jackson), charges stemming from a bar fight (Tinsley and Marquis Daniels), incidents involving handguns (Tinsley and Shawne Williams), failed drug tests (David Harrison), arrests at players' homes of a suspected rapist (an associate of Daniels) and a suspected murderer (an associate of Williams) -- continuously happen under your watch, when is it time to give misery (Thomas and the Knicks) some company?

They are called adults dipshit, Larry can't be hanging around them every fucking second of the day making sure they behave. Besides he's there to judge talent and he's trying (badly at the moment) to meld together a good team, not give them curfews and take their handguns away. If he did give them curfews you would probably write an article about a racist Midwest team profiling young black adults.

Yes, there's an $11.6 million sexual harassment lawsuit that found Thomas responsible and Madison Square Garden liable and unbelievable infighting that has reached "All My Children" levels, but that's not off par with the off-the-court incidents and activities that have plagued the Pacers.

Lets see, a sexual harassment lawsuit that found Thomas guilty and infighting where Thomas was the instigator, not the diffuser. I'm pretty sure Larry Bird was at home while Stephen Jackson was squeezing off rounds at a couple of morons and was probably off porking some high profile prostitute in the comforts of his French Lick home while Jamaal Tinsley was getting shot at downtown. Larry had nothing to do with these off court incidences, Thomas had a hand in a lot of them. So far your argument sucks.

Which makes it only fair to at some point ask whether we place some responsibility on Bird the same way we do on Thomas for harboring and manifesting a climate that has been counter-conducive to the well-being of a franchise that is in the business of winning.

Didn't you say earlier that you can't blame Bird for everything? So far you haven't defended your boy Isiah.

Thomas made questionable moves in taking risks on Eddy Curry, Stephon Marbury and Steve Francis and is blamed for the lack of production by Zach Randolph, among other things. What is the difference between that and the decisions that have been made with respect to Ron Artest, Jackson and Tinsley and the lack of production by Daniels (who, like Randolph, was supposed to be the prize catch that would begin a franchise turnaround)?

Lets see....

Eddy Curry - Questionable talent before coming to the Knicks
Stephon Marbury - Completely insane player that has wrecked every franchise he's been on.
Steve Francis - Stevy Franchise had like one or two decent years before becoming the overrated player that he is.
Zach Randolph - Complete racist who was part of the Jailblazers. Now completely out of shape, he was NEVER the prize catch.

Ron Artest - One of the best defenders in the league before he became insane.
Stephen Jackson - Sucked ass here but last I checked doing pretty well with the Warriors.
Jamal Tinsley - When he wants to be he actually is a decent point guard. Oh yeah, hasn't he basically been injured for the last two years? Didn't you just mention that Jamal was one of their best players that has been injured and Larry had no control over that? Are you saying Tinsley sucks or is good? Pick one.
Daniels - You got me there, but I'm pretty sure, let me check....yep, he was never a prize that would have turned around the Pacers franchise. Where did you get that bullshit?

What's the difference between Jamal Crawford and Mike Dunleavy? Is there a Thomas signee who is draining the Knicks' payroll the way Troy Murphy is draining the Pacers' payroll?

Between Crawford and Dunleavy? Not much except one is white and one is black and both are doing pretty well on shitty teams. As for Murphy, as much as his contract is bloated the guy actually does play hard every night. He's like the Rudy of the NBA, he sucks but he actually tries, unlike anyone on the Knicks.

The only difference, the only real difference, between these two teams that truly stands out is that during this period, the Pacers lost one of the greatest players in NBA history when Reggie Miller retired. That would affect any team. It was something neither Bird nor CEO Donnie Walsh had control over. But it was something for which they could have been better prepared.

Jesus tap dancing Christ, are you blaming Larry for the downfall of the Pacers or not? So far you haven't defended your boy and you've basically blamed Larry for being "unprepared" for Miller's retirement. Easy enough, Larry, Miller just retired could you go pick up another Reggie Miller? You mean you have to develop a hall of famer and even picking a once in a lifetime talent in today's NBA draft is a crap shoot? That's no excuse! You should have been better prepared!

Christ, Scoop. Do you think the Broncos were prepared for Elway's retirement? You think the Bulls were prepared for many of Jordan's retirements? You think the Packers are prepared for Favre's retirement? No, it's impossible to prepare for. It's like preparing for a category five tornado to hit your house, there's going to be damage, and it's going to take time to rebuild.


The Pacers' attendance is the worst in the NBA, according to The Indianapolis Star -- down from being one of the league's most consistent hometown draws. Their salary-cap situation, according to Bill Simmons, is the worst in the NBA and won't change until 2010.

Yes, attendance is down. That's because we suck, people don't like going to games where we know that their team will lose. Have you ever seen a team with a losing record outside of L.A., New York and Boston have record setting attendances when they are losing? Yeah, me neither.

According to Bill Simmons? Bill Fucking Boston Guy Simmons??!! I had no idea Bill was the expert on teams outside of Boston and their salary cap issues. It is well documented that Bill hates Indiana, Pacers and Colts. That's kind of like saying "according to Sean Penn, Bush is losing his grip on America." See? No objectivity. You dolt. I know Bill is the self described expert on the NBA, but that doesn't mean that he knows what the hell is going on in Indiana.

The Pacers have become the Cincinnati Bengals of the NBA. But again, you'd never know if you depended on the sports media tell you.

Comparing the Pacers to the Bengals? I think were better than that. Scoop, you are part of the mainstream sports media, no one from Indiana is, and you aren't the first one to write something like this.

Is racism or regionalism the reason one is vilified and the other isn't?

There it is, there it fucking is. The race card makes it's way into another one of Scoops articles. Scoop, please use the race card when racism actually exists. Weren't you one of the many sports journalist that were condemning the Duke lacrosse team when the person who accused the team of racism and rape was a coked up stripper with a sketchy past? Yeah, when you use the race card as many times as you and Jemele Hill do it really starts to ring hallow and pretty much screws the ones in the U.S. that actually are victims of racism. Just stop, as a matter of fact, I'll compare Larry Bird with Isiah Thomas.

Bird - Hall of famer for the Celtics
Thomas - Hall of famer for the Pistons

Bird - As a player won NBA Championships
Thomas - As a player won NBA Championships

Bird - Fired Isiah for doing a piss poor job as a coach of the Pacers. His replacement took basically the same team to the NBA Eastern Conference Championship THE NEXT YEAR where they were toppled by the eventual champions.

Thomas - Hired Lenny Wilkins, fired. Hired Larry Brown, fired. Hired himself as coach, is still coaching and is coaching himself and his team right into the ground.

Bird - As a coach actually took a team to the finals and nearly toppled MJ and the Bulls back in the 1998 Eastern Conference Finals.

Thomas - As a coach never took a team out of the first round and has made a horrible team into a laughing stock.

Bird - Has made draft picks and trades that has blown up in his face.

Thomas - Has made draft picks and trades that has blown up in his face.

Bird - Has been criticized extensively for his many failures as an executive. Especially in his own hometown.

Thomas - Ditto.

Bird - Has had some success as an executive and as a coach.

Thomas - Has had no success whatsoever in anything he has done outside of playing.

There you go Scoop. And one more thing, where in the hell did you get the idea that Bird wasn't getting any criticism for his actions as GM? I'm pretty sure the owner of the Pacers just said in the paper that he's going to make changes and the only thing he knows for sure that will stay the same is that he will stay the owner. I'm pretty sure that's not a good indication for Larry Legend. All James Dolan of the Knicks has done is sit on his ass with both thumbs directly up them and has made no changes whatsoever, EVEN AFTER THE SEXUAL HARASSMENT LAWSUIT!!! That would have fired anyone!

Choose all of the above, and you still will come up without an answer. Know, though, on this anniversary of Isiah Thomas' continued destruction of the Knicks, he will remain singled out as what not to look for in a president of basketball operations, while Larry Bird's plight will gather sympathy, and no one will notice the mirror images of the two.

Again, Thomas has had his hand in all of the Knicks troubles. As you said before, YOU CAN"T BLAME LARRY FOR EVERYTHING THAT HAS GONE WRONG WITH PACERS!!! Besides, sympathy from whom?! He's been criticized heavily for his actions. Again, New York - big time media, big time market, Indiana - small market, one newspaper. No one outside of Indiana cares about the Pacers. I'm pretty sure there are more fans of the Knicks outside of New York than there are Pacer fans outside of Indiana.

Those who decided to continue reading will ask whether I would have written this column had the roles been reversed -- if Bird was in New York ruining the Knicks and Thomas was in Indiana, silently and unnoticeably watching the Pacers disintegrate during his reign.

Anecdotal bullshit. What if? What if? What if? You don't know.

There you go, Scoop Jackson, one of the many reasons ESPN's Page 2 sucks complete ass now.

Best Season Ever? Best Super Bowl Run Ever?

Being racked with the flu this week I've been watching re-runs (god bless you NFL network) of the Giants run to the Super Bowl. So while I wasn't running to the toilet I have been watching every single game of the Giants and I had a few thoughts.

Has anyone mentioned this as a historic run? This has got to be the best run any team has accomplished against so much great competition in the playoffs.

They had to go through the #3, #2 and #1 offensives of the NFL in order (Cowboys, Packers, Patriots).

They were racked with injuries throughout the playoffs. O'Hara was gone during the Bucs game. Burris was playing on a torn tendon, Shockey was gone, and various players in the secondary were injured.

Do you realize how many rookies they played? Boss, Smith, Bradshaw, Alford (the dude that sent Brady five yards back on the next to last play of the Super Bowl), and others all played significant roles in their wins. Whoever the Giants GM is give him a fucking cigar.

Tom freaking Coughlin out coached Chucky, Phillips (which wasn't that hard really), McCarthy (who had coach of the year nods) and Belicheck (coach of the year).

They defeated the Packers at Green Bay on the coldest game ever (global warming my ass).

Only one team has ever won against a team in the Super Bowl that they defeated in the regular season. '72 Dolphins beat the Redskins in the regular season and the Super Bowl.

No passing leader of the year has ever won a Super Bowl, ever.

Why in the hell did the Pats get so conservative in the Super Bowl? They had all these trick plays that they did with regularity in the regular season and were unbelievably conservative in the Super Bowl.

Why isn't there more love for the Giants? All articles dissapeared for the Giants a couple of days after the Super Bowl. I doubt that would have been the case for the Pats if they completed their season perfect, especially on BSPN.com.

How is this not the best season ever? The Patriots go on a historic run, they become the Goliath of the league the team that people love to hate. They shatter all sorts of records. Favre goes on a run. Manning (of the Peyton variety) does well even with his best target gone and with a host of injuries. The Giants go on a run that I bet no one will ever copy again. Then Manning (of the Eli varity) has a hand in the best play in Super Bowl history, yes, even better than Lynn Swann, against the best team ever in regular season history. Just a classic season which I will never get tired of watching.

My Bad Pats Fans

I would like to apologize for my last post, that was kind of shitty of me. I was pretty drunk and was feeling the high of good Super Bowl. I watched the game at my in-laws and their best friend is from Boston (born and semi-raised) and we have ripped on each other over the years since I'm a Yankess/reborn Colts fan and he's a Sox/Pats/Celtics fan. I actually felt real sorry for him after the loss. I've never seen a man more dejected in my life, to have his team come sooooo close to inmortality only to be ripped away by another Manning. Since I'm a Colts fan I will never know the feeling of being that close to perfect. The entire house I was watching the game at were as anti-Patriots as I was (some actually worse than me) and we all kind of toned it down after the game for this poor soul. Oh well, at least the Sox won it all for you.

Tiger Woods

Since the only golfer ever mentioned on ESPN is Tiger Woods I might as well throw a couple of suggestions to the PGA regarding their most popular player.

1) Every tournament shall now be named The Tiger Woods Classic.
2) If Tiger fails to make a cut, the tournament is cancelled.
3) If Tiger fails to win the tournament there will be a do over.
4) If Tiger fails to win the do over the tournament is cancelled.
5) The Golf Channel will now be named the The Tiger Channel.
6) Every golfer going against Tiger Woods will be renamed The Washington Generals.
7) Every golfer going against Tiger Woods will not be worthy.
8) Jack Nicholson shall be shot since there is no other golfer greater than Tiger Woods.
9) Since Sam Sneed is dead he will not be shot, he will just never be mentioned again and records of him existing will be erased. If he is mentioned as one of the greatest golfers ever next to Tiger the person that mention that shall be shot.
10) The sport of Golf will be renamed the sport of Tiger.

Seriously , golf is not a sport. No endurance needed, no strength is really needed, no speed, no conditioning, no running. And that big huge golf bag? Oh, someone else carries that for you. Oh, and that guy carrying those golf bags? He can give a ton of advice for what seems like a half hour before you take the shot. How in the hell is this considered a sport? Me masturbating burns more calories than playing golf. Sorry for that visual.

Is It Time For Dungy.....To Go?

I only made it through 2 paragraphs of Bob Kravitz's latest mail it in editorial in the Indy Star. And when I say mail it in I'm being pretty generous. Bob just doesn't make safe, predictable, mail-it-in articles, he stuffs the column in the pocket of a retarded hobo and shoves him in the general direction of Pennsylvania Avenue. In the article he suggested that the Colts are like the Atlanta Braves, great in the regular season, unspeakably lousy in the post season. Plus they have both just one ring under their belt. I guess that's a fair comparison (even though Manning has a long way to go before retirement) but that doesn't take the sting out of Sundays lost to the back up of the back ups of the Chargers. A team headed by a Manuel Noriega look-a-like with pits the size of cats, an a-hole egomaniac quarterback who for the entire regular season couldn't hit the blind side of a fucking barn and an all star running back/spoiled brat who treats his quarterback like a hooker who has crabs. Yeah, it really sucked, and really stung, badly. I tried to drown my sorrows to forget that game but my sorrows, they learned to swim. I just can't believe we lost to the Chargers.

Someone also brought up that maybe it's time for Dungy to go. In all honesty the man is genuine, nice and coaches his players like men. But it's obvious that football is not his main priority, and that usually rears its ugly head when game planning and preparing for the tough as balls playoffs. It is well known that he is a Christian who would like to one day do missionary work. That's great, but he has a team, right now, with the talent and potential to win year after year, Super Bowls, not just regular season games. It is the coach, or the players? Would you rather have an unkempt asshole/genius coach that got caught cheating that has won 3 (soon to be 4) Super Bowls with fire and determination to fuck everyone up the pooper to go perfect? Or a nice, genuine coach with a heart of gold and who somehow manages to get outplayed and out game planned by inferior competition. I know they won a Super Bowl last year, but they had the chance to screw the Pats. I should let it go and hope Dungy comes back for more years but this years loss left a bad taste in my mouth, like stripper, bad beer and weed taste in my mouth. And it's not easy to get out.

Bowl Season Round Up for the Big Ten

Being a Ohio State fan and a huge Big 10 (11) fan I thought I would round out the surprisingly exciting bowl season.

BCS Championship game - Or Ohio State gets their jocks handed to them again. I didn't see any of the game since I had to work but I'm glad I worked. Instead of losing by 37 like last year, they only lose by 14, but it wasn't even that close. I might be a OSU homer but OSU had no business being in the game. Lets see what was going against them, playing in a dome against a team not named Minnesota, the fact that they are 0-8 against the SEC and the fact that LSU was basically playing a home game, plus oh yeah, LSU is a good team. I don't buy into the whole "the Big 10 is slow, has no athletes and are weak" argument. Just look at this years draft, 11 Big 10 athletes picked in the first 2 rounds of the NFL draft. OSU came out gangbusters then lost their steam quickly. Too much emotion to quickly. Oh well, it will be a while before OSU sniffs a BCS championship game again, we'll always have 2003.

Indiana - Get their first bowl game in a long time and then...ouch. They basically got their jocks, nuts and shirts handed to them by Oklahoma State. Try again next year.

Michigan - Way to go, you out Florida Florida. Just shows how over rated Tim Tebow is. Lloyd Carr goes out on a high note.

Illinois - Did you really think you had a chance? Playing in your first BCS bowl game against another team with home field advantage. The reason OSU couldn't beat Illinois was because the OSU defense couldn't tackle Juice. USC didn't have that trouble. Illinois will bounce back, Zook is a good coach and recruiter.

Purdue - Wins a shootout against a shitty team they played before. Didn't expect them to win and they did. Joe Tiller is a fine coach going against OSU and Michigan recruits. If they let him go in the next couple of years they are nuts.

Michigan State - Did really well against a tough Boston College team. They probably got distracted by Boston College's accents and the way they say "wicked" every 5 seconds.

Penn State - Another year and another win for Jopa. His glassed might get thicker every year but the old man still has it. Beats out a Texas A&M team that was ready.

Wisconsin - Actually scared a good Tennessee team. If it wasn't for a late interception they might have won it.

Team that should have played LSU? Missouri, hands down. Man handled an Ar Kansas team that beat LSU.

I love the bowl season and it's done. Now we have to wait until August.

Sports Guy Mock World Series Game 4 Running Diary

Since Boston is about to win the world series that means all of ESPN.com is about to explode with stories, articles and nonsensical Boston BS. One of the lead writers on ESPN is Bill (I only got this job because I'm a Boston sports fan) Simmons. He is probably the biggest Boston homer they have on the web page, he also makes fun of Indy sports teams waaaay too much (see "the Manning face"). He goes out of his way to do so contantly, even this year with the Colts. Since ESPN has only Jay Mariotti representing the midwest (seriously, look it up, 7 Boston writers for 3 teams, 1 midwest writer for a shitload of midwest teams) I thought I would make a typical mock diary of Bill Simmons for tonights inevitable Boston win.

8:00 - We come at you live for game five of the world series with Boston battling, um, some team from Colorado, seriously, does Colorado have a team? I only know the Red Sox and the hated Yankess.

8:15 - Me, House, Jay-Bug and the rest of the Goonies were circle jerking each other the other day while watching Good Will Hunting when House asked if there was a better team then the 2004 Red Sox. We all said the 2007 Red Sox.

8:20 - Tim McCarver is dumn (insert typical dumn McCarver quote).

8:30 - Second pitch is hit and the Red Sox are on base. It's in the bag. I'm already preparing to write "Now I can Die In Peace II, Electric Boogaloo."

8:45 - My dad called me after the Red Sox scored their first run, "hey son, I'm not your real dad, by the way, go Sox".

9:00 - "THIS IS OUR COOOOUNTRY."

9:14 - My wife comes in all mad at something, I don't know why, maybe I'll give her her own crappy article to write that no one will read in my colums on ESPN.com. By the way, did you know that I'm a Boston Red Sox fan?

9:20 - Boston 2, St. Louis - 0. I know that St. Louis isn't in the world series, it's just that I don't any other team other than Boston and the Evil Empire.

9:25 - I would f**k Jason Varitek on my coffee table right now with Big Papi's c**k in my mouth.

9:40 - (some stupid anecdote about some shitty reality TV show on MTV that no 30 year old should be watching).

9:45 - (Name drop about a celebrity that he knows).

9:50 - Tom Brady is dreamy - Red Sox 2, White Sox - 0.

You get the idea.

John-O on Hoodie: A Rebuttal (no mooning involved)

Alright John-O, as Lumburgh said to the Bobs about Peter, "I'm going to have to....disagree" about your take on Belicheck. Yeah, the guy is about as personable as Dick Cheney and more arrogant than Micheal Moore and he does have a huge bulls eye on his back from his success(?) which makes him an easy target, but he still broke the rules. And if it isn't a big deal then why:

1) Did Belecheck bother doing it unless it gives him an edge? and

2) Did the NFL warn all teams not 12 months ago about not videotaping other teams?

It all seems very Watergatey, if that's a word.

Basically everyone else outside of Boston pretty much agrees that the punishment, if you can call it that, was way to light. $500,000 and a loss of a first round draft pick, whoopie, suspend the man. The NFL just got done suspending Bum Philip's grandson for buying HGH for his diabetes for 5 games for messing with the integrity of the game, to paraphrase Godell. What the hell? Belicheck screwed with the integrity of the game and was not suspended. Does the light sentence have to do with Kraft's relationship with Goodell? Favoritism anyone? Sound fishy? It does to me. Back to the punishment, Belicheck can make up the money in speaking engagements. Of course, who the hell would actually hire the human drone to speak to anyone? School of the deaf? Plus taking away a draft pick for 2008 will do nothing because they will still have a pick later on in the draft thanks to the San Fransisco trade. So basically Mr. Personality got away with murder again. As I was thinking before, I always wondered how New England managed to get away with complete murder. The 2003 playoff game in New England where the defenders practically were hanging off of the Colts receivers, the fact that they seemed to know all of the opposing team's plays before they started, the tuck rule, cheap shots, late hits, faking injuries like a couple of soccer player, It goes on and on. A couple of teams have come forward and described some of the events that transpired in New England that were very fishy. Check out Dr. Z's column at Sportsillustrated.com.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2007/writers/dr_z/09/13/cheating/index.html

If New England goes 13-3 for the year and win it all without the aid of video I'll shut up. But for now, it's all very fishy and New England and butt chin Brady's "dynasty" is in question.