Saturday, April 26, 2008

Movie Review Of A Movie I Didn't Bother To See

Harold and Kumar Escape From Guantanamo Bay

Starring: Some Indian Dude, Some Korean Dude, Some Gay Dude, Some Hot Chicks, Some Dumb White Dudes, Some Racist Hillbilly Dudes, Maybe some Cuban Dudes, and some lame ass writing.

Premise: After Harold and Kumar decide to stop touching pee pees they leave White Castle and decide on a impromptu trip to Europe, probably Amsterdam, in order to bake their brains while watching live sex shows. I'm guessing since one of the is brown and since they like pot so much the word bong was mistaken for bomb and they happen to be on the one flight that actually has an air marshal (some dumb white dude) and are apprehended. Since they are brown, well, one of them is light brown, they are considered terrorists and are sent to Guantanamo Bay. Fortunately for them Col. Jessep is nowhere to be seen and they somehow escape to the deep south. Oh boy, you know where they jokes are headed don't you? That's right they meet dumb hillbillies and the Ku Klux Klan. Wow, what writing skills these people have, I mean, poking fun at Republicans and white people, those jokes never get stale do they? Then they get baked again and have sex with hot chicks. Then they go to White Castle which, thankfully, don't have that many white people. The End.

Lesson Learned: White people suck and they have a funny way of driving, it's true, we are soooo lame! Also the war on errorism (get it? I said errorism and not terrorism) is best left for people who are not Republicans, Barak Obama save us from our guns and attachment to religion!!!! Also not all Muslims are terrorists but all white people are dumb or racist or both. They also have attachment to guns and aren't afraid to use them. I'm holding a shotgun and typing this at the same time so I guess it's true.


NUVO: The writing sucks but since it makes fun of white people and Republicans 5 out of 4 starts.
High Times: Instant classic man, 10 stars!! What were we talking about again?
Joe Shearer Indy Star: Sorry, I was too busy stuffing my face with popcorn, I'll just say 3 out of 4 stars.
Fox News: Since we are full of lame white people 2 out of 4. Wait, just to show you whippersnappers that we aren't square 2 1/2 out of 4.


Godfather Weilhammer said...

Sadly, your review is correct. Nobody came to see it this weekend. The few people I know who saw it said it was horrible. Surprise surprise.

Prime Mover said...

The sad thing is it's gotten some really good reviews, I'm trying to figure out why.

Godfather Weilhammer said...

Probably because critics live in San Francisco and were baked out of their minds.